Greatest Hiatus 4: Firemares in the Sky ⠀ (Krull, 1983) - So Farscape!

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Greatest Hiatus 4: Firemares in the Sky ⠀ (Krull, 1983)

Time for another Greatest Hiatus! This time we're watching Krull, a science-fantasy epic from 1983.

On the planet of Krull, an evil creature called the Beast decimates the world's army and kidnaps the lovely Princess Lyssa (Lysette Anthony), who is destined to become queen. Her brave beau, Prince Colwyn (Ken Marshall), leads a motley band of warriors, including Ergo (David Battley) and Kegan (Liam Neeson), to rescue his beloved. However, before he can face the Beast, Colwyn must locate a mystical weapon known as the Glaive, which he can use to slay the hideous villain.

First aired on 29 July 1983, written by Stanford Sherman, and directed by Peter Yates

Transcript
Kay:

Hello and welcome to @SoFarscape.

Kay:

With Phil.

Khaki-Bot:

Farscape fan costs.

Khaki-Bot:

Bye.

Khaki-Bot:

And fan.

Khaki-Bot:

And

Kay:

frankly fascinated.

Kay:

first timer I'm talking.

Kay:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

And this is the story.

Khaki-Bot:

So Farscape no.

Kay:

we have another hiatus.

Khaki-Bot:

right.

Khaki-Bot:

to tantalize our sensors and to keep us teetering on the brink of anticipation

Khaki-Bot:

before we continue season three.

Khaki-Bot:

We are doing.

Khaki-Bot:

another greatest hiatus.

Khaki-Bot:

I think it was like, oh, it was several months between.

Khaki-Bot:

uh, eat me and the next

Kay:

episode.

Khaki-Bot:

So we're experiencing that as well.

Khaki-Bot:

Both a double helping of fanfiction.

Khaki-Bot:

Last time we just completed Astro girl twos.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, Zhaan.

Khaki-Bot:

And we may have something a little bit special for you next week.

Khaki-Bot:

But this week we're taking another little break from a Farscape and.

Khaki-Bot:

K.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

So every time we do one of these.

Khaki-Bot:

We have a little chat about what should we, what should we sort of do?

Khaki-Bot:

Because it's an opportunity for you.

Khaki-Bot:

to introduce me or like to help me.

Khaki-Bot:

rediscover something.

Kay:

What kind of breaking was the tradition that we started

Kay:

off with doing movie stats.

Kay:

you haven't seen.

Kay:

But yes.

Kay:

Uh, this week's greatest hiatus is a 1984.

Kay:

Fantasy movie.

Kay:

Fanfic I would almost say, but it's not.

Kay:

Nice niche for Crow

Kay:

crawl.

Kay:

Science.

Kay:

To see movie, I suppose.

Khaki-Bot:

okay.

Khaki-Bot:

So.

Khaki-Bot:

We thought about like what should we do?

Khaki-Bot:

We've looked at a lot of other science fiction or like Jim

Khaki-Bot:

Henson productions have been.

Khaki-Bot:

Neither of which this technically is, but what it is is a big swing.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a very, it's a lot of bold creative choices.

Khaki-Bot:

To just like, let's see if it works.

Khaki-Bot:

Spoiler alert.

Khaki-Bot:

it.

Khaki-Bot:

did not commercially.

Khaki-Bot:

No, but.

Kay:

Oh no.

Kay:

It was commercial flop.

Kay:

Yeah, it was like,

Khaki-Bot:

Absolute disaster.

Kay:

it costs about 30 million to produce.

Kay:

And I think.

Kay:

At about a 16 million bucks office takes.

Kay:

So yeah, that was like new.

Kay:

It's also not that.

Kay:

Really well received by critics actually.

Khaki-Bot:

Amy part, I can understand it, but like it holds

Khaki-Bot:

a special place in my heart.

Khaki-Bot:

Like

Kay:

Oh, absolutely.

Khaki-Bot:

it comes from a half remembered fever dream.

Khaki-Bot:

Like I haven't seen it in like 28 years.

Kay:

I believe.

Kay:

One of those movies that my parents rented for me when I was sick at home.

Kay:

And I.

Kay:

got to watch on the couch while I was sick as a kid.

Khaki-Bot:

now.

Khaki-Bot:

Hey, that's good value because it's a long picture.

Kay:

It's a two hours.

Khaki-Bot:

A lot happens.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

It's got a long story.

Kay:

I mean, that's actually one of the criticism points up there.

Kay:

The critics had already Did it kind of meanders on there's

Kay:

loads of stuff happening.

Kay:

And they're just like piling on a lot of fantasy movie throats.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Khaki-Bot:

while at the same

Kay:

I think the really big budget production.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

And in some ways,

Khaki-Bot:

we innovative Like this, there's, kind of two, like overriding thoughts that

Khaki-Bot:

I want to talk about straightaway.

Khaki-Bot:

One of them is quite positive and one of them's a little

Khaki-Bot:

bit negative, so let's just

Khaki-Bot:

get

Khaki-Bot:

that one out of the, the positive is can you imagine if this had

Khaki-Bot:

been a 10 episode Netflix series?

Kay:

Oh, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

Like, like, the dark crystal age of rebellion.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

No, absolutely.

Khaki-Bot:

that would have been glorious.

Khaki-Bot:

Like you've got this there's 10 episodes worth of adventures here.

Khaki-Bot:

Like the swamps.

Khaki-Bot:

At the web and on all that nonsense.

Khaki-Bot:

And the other is that.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean Farscape has a, has a tradition of empowered, like really valid, strong

Khaki-Bot:

well-developed female characters.

Khaki-Bot:

And this does

Kay:

not Oh, no.

Kay:

There's like, there's the typical damsel.

Kay:

There

Khaki-Bot:

are so we women in this series, one of them is the fateful bride.

Krull C-auphonic:

The marriage is my choice.

Krull C-auphonic:

Colwyn is a great fighter.

Krull C-auphonic:

Good fighters make bad

Khaki-Bot:

who just sort of waits purely until she's rescued.

Khaki-Bot:

And then she.

Khaki-Bot:

Has a power that she gives to her husband.

Khaki-Bot:

I never wheeled herself.

Khaki-Bot:

Nope.

Khaki-Bot:

There's the crone.

Khaki-Bot:

So there's the.

Kay:

Oh, right?

Khaki-Bot:

crone who redeems herself and dies.

Khaki-Bot:

And there's the seductive slut and she redeems herself and dies.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

And that's it for women?

Kay:

Oh, you're right.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

That is literally.

Kay:

it.

Kay:

I mean even the parents of the the two new newlyweds.

Kay:

are both Kings.

Kay:

Yeah, no mothers insights.

Kay:

Not a female in the entire throne room, I believe during the marriage ceremony.

Khaki-Bot:

So when Netflix does its 10 episode, like mini-series.

Khaki-Bot:

Adaptation.

Khaki-Bot:

How about we flip that?

Khaki-Bot:

Like just Straight up.

Khaki-Bot:

One-to-one.

Khaki-Bot:

All women and we'll have a twink.

Khaki-Bot:

With teams herself.

Khaki-Bot:

I had a joke who is noble and waits and gives power.

Khaki-Bot:

and will have a vengeful daddy.

Khaki-Bot:

who redeemed himself, because those are the three.

Khaki-Bot:

Those are the three phases of like at least gay male life.

Khaki-Bot:

You have to tweak the jock and the

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Oh, the witches of Eastwick.

Khaki-Bot:

I have not seen this film in 28 years Like I was 12.

Khaki-Bot:

The last time I watched.

Khaki-Bot:

it And I know that it was on television.

Khaki-Bot:

and I videotaped it.

Khaki-Bot:

and I've watched it several times.

Khaki-Bot:

And I know that I was 12 because my memories of this film pizza route at

Khaki-Bot:

about the two third mark, which is.

Khaki-Bot:

about the attention span of a

Kay:

12

Kay:

year

Kay:

old.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Arguably that's when the, swinging action.

Kay:

really starts To happen.

Kay:

other than the big fight scenes in the beginning.

Kay:

Then there's a lot of walking around the countryside.

Kay:

Uh,

Khaki-Bot:

I love.

Kay:

I mean, yes.

Kay:

It's like most of that was shot in Italy.

Kay:

Uh, I

Khaki-Bot:

was going to ask.

Khaki-Bot:

cause you've got these beautiful like metals and rolling hillsides

Kay:

think it's the Dolomites.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Kay:

That's where my thought went.

Kay:

When I saw those mountains.

Kay:

And then yeah.

Kay:

I looked it up and yes, it was short in Italy.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, well done.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, that must've been a delight to shoot.

Khaki-Bot:

because it's a very pleasant bland, and everybody looked very comfortable

Khaki-Bot:

in their not very practical clothing.

Kay:

there was nobody there either.

Kay:

the only village we see is right at the beginning and it's burning.

Kay:

Uh, there's, there's no peasants.

Kay:

There is no other village.

Kay:

There's talk about the village.

Kay:

That's where the seductress slough comes from, but again,

Kay:

She and two friends show up.

Kay:

And that's it.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

We never see anybody living in these kingdoms.

Khaki-Bot:

Nope.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

So very bold creative choices here because it's a scifi fantasy, which we

Khaki-Bot:

were introduced to in the opening titles, which take an awful, awful long time.

Kay:

Oh,

Khaki-Bot:

man.

Khaki-Bot:

Are they a delight to listen to?

Kay:

Oh, well, yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

because I had forgotten that it was James Horner.

Khaki-Bot:

Until like,

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

I mean, you literally said that like, oh, there has to be James Horner.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

At the moment soundtrack start with yet.

Khaki-Bot:

It's actually a very repetitive soundtrack,

Khaki-Bot:

but I never got tired of it.

Khaki-Bot:

And it's extra repetitive because this was 1984.

Khaki-Bot:

So he'd just come off of.

Khaki-Bot:

Aliens.

Khaki-Bot:

Um, where he basically repeated all the cool stuff that he'd done in star Trek.

Khaki-Bot:

Two, the wrath of Khan.

Khaki-Bot:

And now he repeated it again, like these, these mounting horns.

Khaki-Bot:

And, but I don't mind, I just love it.

Kay:

Part of the soundtrack for this was actually reused as a, in aliens.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, it was

Khaki-Bot:

different order.

Kay:

Other way round.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

Ah,

Kay:

There was definitely a positive.

Khaki-Bot:

from the wrath of Khan from

Kay:

Oh, yeah.

Kay:

Totally.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

And,

Kay:

And then some of this was literally recycled in the alien soundtrack.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

I heard that.

Khaki-Bot:

when it's suddenly about halfway through the film, you like this,

Khaki-Bot:

these beautiful themes that are developed in the super exciting.

Khaki-Bot:

And at her Oak.

Khaki-Bot:

And then one of them turns miner and you get some marshal drumming.

Khaki-Bot:

in the, in the background.

Khaki-Bot:

That's when the, uh, oh, what was the all-terrain vehicle like busts

Kay:

okay.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

But yes, opening shop is.

Kay:

Again, a little bit star wars derivative.

Kay:

We see like,

Kay:

a big rock floating through space and you've got these long term theme

Khaki-Bot:

Rock now.

Khaki-Bot:

That's interesting.

Khaki-Bot:

It.

Khaki-Bot:

As a tweet to me?

Khaki-Bot:

I was,

Khaki-Bot:

I had, I had written down like ye Brazil.

Khaki-Bot:

the, uh, the

Kay:

okay.

Kay:

I mean to me.

Kay:

It looks much more Rocky.

Kay:

I mean, it's called black fortress.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Approaching this two summed

Khaki-Bot:

planet.

Kay:

not really black, by the way.

Kay:

It's more brownish, but you know, It's

Khaki-Bot:

I love how the sort of organic shapes give

Khaki-Bot:

way to more structural shapes.

Khaki-Bot:

Well in your rock, interpretation is actually kind of, kind of apt because it

Khaki-Bot:

transitions from rock to like hexagonal,

Kay:

Today's like the giant school.

Kay:

Yeah, those are the Giant's Causeway in, in

Kay:

Ireland.

Kay:

So yes.

Kay:

That's why

Khaki-Bot:

beautiful

Khaki-Bot:

feature that in my memory was a desolate because when I went there,

Khaki-Bot:

I was a child with my mother was, that was not a lot to do there.

Khaki-Bot:

It was just a very long drive and now it has a lovely reception center.

Khaki-Bot:

And in my current memory is just.

Khaki-Bot:

Smothered in Chinese tourists.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Kay:

well,

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

that's not a spic surprise.

Kay:

It's One of those things.

Kay:

but yes, we see the fortress landing in the, uh, in the countryside,

Kay:

big crack develops in the sand.

Kay:

There's like some air bursts going off.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, it looks spectacular

Kay:

followed by

Kay:

the one time we see a burning village.

Kay:

And it's the slayers, which.

Kay:

Right out and start to conquer the planet because the beast apparently

Kay:

has conquered many planets and now it's come to the beautiful world of Kroll.

Krull C-auphonic:

it was given me to know:

Krull C-auphonic:

That many worlds have been enslaved

Krull C-auphonic:

by the Beast and his army, the Slayers.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, this opening narration, which does a lot of expedition, it's

Khaki-Bot:

very heavy and expedition in the, in the early part of the.

Khaki-Bot:

The episode.

Kay:

that.

Khaki-Bot:

The film.

Khaki-Bot:

Where it was given to me to know.

Khaki-Bot:

What a lovely way to start a story.

Kay:

king and queen will rule crawl, and their son will rule the

Kay:

galaxy, which is mentioned twice.

Kay:

But completely not.

Kay:

Elaborated

Khaki-Bot:

The sun doesn't come up.

Khaki-Bot:

No.

Khaki-Bot:

Like there's even the way that this is phrased, even like suggest.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, a much more empowered female protagonist than we actually

Khaki-Bot:

get, because it is the queen.

Khaki-Bot:

who chooses a king

Krull C-auphonic:

a girl of ancient name

Krull C-auphonic:

shall become queen...

Krull C-auphonic:

that she shall choose a king, and that

Krull C-auphonic:

together they shall rule our world...

Krull C-auphonic:

and that their son

Krull C-auphonic:

shall rule the galaxy.

Khaki-Bot:

She doesn't have much agency aside from who she, to

Kay:

Oh, she picks.

Khaki-Bot:

heart.

Kay:

It's interesting.

Kay:

So, Daddy king one and daddy king two.

Kay:

are not exactly friends, fans of each other.

Kay:

Apparently.

Kay:

there are ancient enemies and their kingdoms have been presumably at war.

Krull C-auphonic:

I didn't choose this marriage, Turold.

Krull C-auphonic:

Nor did I, Eirig.

Kay:

but now there is a, uh, An external crisis that has to be

Kay:

met and they reluctantly agreed to Come to each other's aid.

Kay:

And apparently they lost 300 men on the way over, which is like

Kay:

a good way to save on extras.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes, because.

Khaki-Bot:

I'll be About 20.

Khaki-Bot:

actually ride through the Meadows.

Khaki-Bot:

I thought he was interesting that it was the daughter's idea.

Khaki-Bot:

Right?

Khaki-Bot:

She suggests that this.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, this Alliance being.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, being necessary and that it should be.

Khaki-Bot:

sealed through marriage.

Krull C-auphonic:

Then, I'll make a treaty with King Turold.

Krull C-auphonic:

It's not necessary for

Krull C-auphonic:

you to marry his son.

Krull C-auphonic:

It's the only way to

Krull C-auphonic:

guarantee the alliance.

Khaki-Bot:

Which seems like really cutting political acumen until like, yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

It turns out she actually does have the hots for

Kay:

So I was kind of wondering about that, how that would work because.

Kay:

I mean, they're like, they're old enemies, but like when did

Kay:

they meet at a social mixer?

Kay:

some points cause

Kay:

like,

Kay:

Yeah,

Kay:

exactly.

Kay:

Like what's the backstory there.

Kay:

That's what I'm curious about.

Kay:

Really

Khaki-Bot:

fascinated about that.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

So.

Kay:

we can run.

Kay:

About that.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh I hear an army of.

Khaki-Bot:

like fanfic writers who were shaking off the dust of decades

Khaki-Bot:

that they haven't written for.

Khaki-Bot:

Farscape.

Khaki-Bot:

Charging towards their patents.

Khaki-Bot:

I want to talk about the sort of pageantry and costuming and design.

Khaki-Bot:

here, Because we're introduced to this fairy tale castle.

Khaki-Bot:

in the Dolomites, like super white wolves.

Khaki-Bot:

Like

Khaki-Bot:

it's ministerial.

Khaki-Bot:

But it's guarded by these God Knights who are essentially like wearing BMX outfits,

Kay:

like kind of, kind of like

Kay:

a cross between like the emperor Palpatine red guard, but then in purple.

Kay:

and with.

Kay:

with.

Kay:

these peculiar outfits and look at a little bit of helmeting thrown in.

Kay:

Uh,

Khaki-Bot:

those

Khaki-Bot:

are BMX helmets.

Khaki-Bot:

Come on, they've got the, they've got the sun visor.

Khaki-Bot:

They're just, they're just painted the extra sort

Kay:

of Okay, that makes sense.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, you've

Khaki-Bot:

got this cool door with like a space dartboard on it.

Khaki-Bot:

Like.

Kay:

And no hinges.

Khaki-Bot:

It's interesting.

Kay:

I.

Kay:

don't.

Kay:

How it opens, but later on.

Kay:

Uh, or shortly afterwards when, when the, uh, when the slayers

Kay:

come and break through the gates and the gates folds open, and you

Kay:

can see the gates standing there.

Kay:

There's no hinges.

Kay:

Interesting.

Khaki-Bot:

There's a lot of interesting design choices here.

Khaki-Bot:

I just, I just love her bigger, like, Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

The main gate is these two big doors and they're barred by not one beam.

Khaki-Bot:

Like It's a

Kay:

It's kind of boomerang shape

Khaki-Bot:

though.

Khaki-Bot:

Exactly.

Khaki-Bot:

It's like a, it's like a quarter to two.

Khaki-Bot:

on the clock.

Khaki-Bot:

So, we see the arrival of, basically floated and Gilder.

Khaki-Bot:

Right, right.

Khaki-Bot:

from the princess bride, these rivaling kingdoms that happened to

Khaki-Bot:

both be named after Dutch currencies.

Khaki-Bot:

Eh,

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, it took me a long time before I realized that.

Khaki-Bot:

And at the tree Of rival kingdom arrives and immediately, like

Khaki-Bot:

yells their complaints because.

Khaki-Bot:

as you said, Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

you promised us aid, nothing.

Khaki-Bot:

Ain't never

Kay:

A little bit of bickering, a little bit of like two grumpy old

Kay:

Kings who decided to put their.

Kay:

Uh, grievances aside and have their children face the music.

Khaki-Bot:

And their children are the ones who really drive this decision.

Khaki-Bot:

because the, dads are about to like fly at each other's throats over this

Khaki-Bot:

promised aid that didn't arrive because they were probably taken out by slayers.

Krull C-auphonic:

We sent to you for help.

Krull C-auphonic:

None came.

Krull C-auphonic:

Twenty men were despatched to you.

Krull C-auphonic:

We've lost 300 getting here.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, and the kids are very decisive.

Khaki-Bot:

So we have.

Khaki-Bot:

I didn't really write their names down because they went

Khaki-Bot:

too quick and I don't care.

Khaki-Bot:

So I've named them, Brad and Janet.

Kay:

Let's go with that.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

I think it's Colwin and lesser, but who cares?

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

And Brad is wearing sleeveless armor, which.

Kay:

Yep.

Khaki-Bot:

That's a, that's a bold

Kay:

again.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

It's like, it looks stunning, and he's got some abs as we see electron.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

He is, he has a fine, fine slab of lunch meat.

Khaki-Bot:

Like I sort of imagined that.

Khaki-Bot:

This is, this was supposed to be kind of a date.

Khaki-Bot:

movie and there is.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

You know,

Khaki-Bot:

for,

Khaki-Bot:

for a hot blooded young woman who was into hot blooded young man, there

Khaki-Bot:

was a lot of candy to, uh, to enjoy.

Khaki-Bot:

While you're not being provided with any relatable characters

Khaki-Bot:

that have any agency in the film.

Khaki-Bot:

So at least you got something to do.

Kay:

There you go.

Kay:

They have a little get together where they like, oh yes.

Kay:

We're going to get married here.

Kay:

Tonight.

Kay:

I've Moonrise when it also, not only do they have two sons, but

Kay:

they also have two moons here.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a well endowed planet.

Khaki-Bot:

It is.

Kay:

I like the scene where the dad and daughter arrive.

Kay:

from downstairs and the dad and son arrived from upstairs.

Kay:

And the dad's like both holding these gasoline torches.

Kay:

And they have this little thing,

Krull C-auphonic:

From this day, my kingdom is no more.

Krull C-auphonic:

Nor mine.

Krull C-auphonic:

A single kingdom under our children.

Krull C-auphonic:

Agreed.

Kay:

Which I thought was a really nice way to go.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

That's I mean, that's all normally how like succession goes, right.

Kay:

I suppose a king can step down.

Kay:

And it was just

Kay:

like it happened here.

Kay:

And then at the time it happened here in Netherlands, like a Beatrix

Kay:

abdicated in favor of Willem Alexander.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

So I.

Kay:

Posing this guy's day.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

They just come to an agreement and they go we were both going to step down and

Kay:

as of now, it is one kingdom ruled by.

Kay:

both our children.

Khaki-Bot:

I agreed as if that's the first time that they talked about it.

Khaki-Bot:

And this is a moment where it's somewhere is there's a universe where

Khaki-Bot:

the crawl is then about the bickering over what the kingdom is going to be

Kay:

called.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

That's at least one episode in that Netflix series.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

So the, uh, the wedding happens and it's this beautiful ceremony

Khaki-Bot:

that, involves water and fire.

Khaki-Bot:

He, Brad prince, Brad douses, one of these uh, uh, one of these torches in the water.

Khaki-Bot:

And Jay princess, Janet has a special superpower where she can

Khaki-Bot:

like take fire from the water and.

Kay:

try it.

Kay:

So, um, I'm thinking that,

Khaki-Bot:

where does

Khaki-Bot:

this come from?

Kay:

Did they must have a special relationship with fire on this planet?

Kay:

Because we see, uh, later on when the prince goes and fishes, the

Kay:

glaze, he pulls it out of magma.

Kay:

And later, when she does eventually give the fire back to him, he can

Kay:

use it as a bloody flame thrower.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

So

Kay:

I guess I'm just guessing that these folks have a special relationship with fire.

Kay:

I mean, they've got fire mayors as well.

Kay:

So.

Kay:

fire

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yeah.

Kay:

fire.

Kay:

Must just love them.

Kay:

It's just must just be a thing on Kroll.

Kay:

Okay.

Kay:

I mean, it is a fantasy, a movie.

Khaki-Bot:

But that doesn't entirely satisfactory explanation.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm with you.

Kay:

I didn't notice it.

Kay:

Interesting little continuity error here because he like.

Kay:

he

Kay:

uh, he douses that torch in the water.

Kay:

And then all the, in the rest of the wedding scene, he's holding it again.

Kay:

but it's still burning.

Kay:

So it just Kind of kind of ruins the imagery here.

Kay:

but

Kay:

yes, just.

Kay:

Just about, uh, she is, uh, going to hand the fire back to him.

Kay:

The Slayer's arrive at the main gates, blow the shit up and invade the castle.

Khaki-Bot:

The slayers look So cool.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

They have these sort of.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean sort of insect skull, like helmets.

Khaki-Bot:

With these crowns of thorns, they don't really seem to yell anything or want

Khaki-Bot:

anything or have characters or, or

Kay:

no, they're just like slayers.

Kay:

Um,

Khaki-Bot:

They're riding on horseback.

Khaki-Bot:

They have these staff weapons that fire energy bolts, which they can turn around.

Khaki-Bot:

And then they're just like,

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

So there's a spike on them.

Kay:

And when they shoot that energy bolt, that spike has gone and

Kay:

then they turn it around on, it becomes kind of like a sword thing.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, I hadn't caught that.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

So It's like a musket and

Khaki-Bot:

then you flip it around.

Khaki-Bot:

and they've got your bayonet on

Kay:

Exactly.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, that's cutting.

Kay:

How it works, at least that's how I see it It seemed to be working.

Khaki-Bot:

well, that explains why it always like an opening barrage and

Khaki-Bot:

then transition to hand-to-hand clever.

Khaki-Bot:

So there's a bit of business about how to defend the console.

Khaki-Bot:

And again, for a second, I thought we'd have an empower female.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, lead when she says we'll fight together.

Kay:

but no.

Kay:

She got sent off with a few guards who immediately get a slain

Kay:

by a few other, other slayers.

Kay:

I guess they make up their name and to do a princess gets taken prisoner.

Kay:

There's a swashbuckling scene in the main hallway.

Kay:

Where he's He's

Khaki-Bot:

so much flinching.

Kay:

Yup.

Kay:

He literally cuts down the candelabra and swings across the room.

Khaki-Bot:

And he danced across the font and he throws his, his

Khaki-Bot:

sword from one hand to the other.

Khaki-Bot:

It's it's ridiculous.

Khaki-Bot:

So cool.

Khaki-Bot:

You know, if this was like a regular episode, we could actually stop and

Khaki-Bot:

just Marvel at these scenes, but there's

Kay:

We have to, we have to keep

Kay:

marveling.

Kay:

I'm motoring on

Kay:

That's marveling.

Kay:

on as well.

Khaki-Bot:

quietly marveling.

Khaki-Bot:

So we see one of these, uh, Slaters being killed by one of the

Khaki-Bot:

dads while they're still alive.

Khaki-Bot:

And it's there's this high-pitched screeching at the Arbor falls apart.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm like a lobster.

Kay:

It's described as a worm as well.

Kay:

And it kind of slithers and disappears into the ground.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

That happens whenever, Whenever one of the slayers is slain.

Khaki-Bot:

So is this just, a little, lobster creature.

Khaki-Bot:

It doesn't have to like a hermit crab gather its armor.

Khaki-Bot:

Maybe.

Kay:

Or maybe it's piloting the body.

Kay:

Maybe it's just like some sort of thing that infests a.

Kay:

The

Khaki-Bot:

the little aliens in meeting.

Khaki-Bot:

Meet men in black.

Khaki-Bot:

Something like that.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, that's.

Khaki-Bot:

Colored nice

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, so.

Khaki-Bot:

These fights seems there at once.

Khaki-Bot:

Terribly stupid.

Khaki-Bot:

and really cool.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

They were really well-rehearsed and then the Slayer suits arrived.

Kay:

And then they realized that they had like lots of limitations in their

Kay:

movement and they kind of had to.

Khaki-Bot:

I couldn't

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

So that was a bit.

Kay:

That was a bit unfortunate.

Kay:

So they were supposed to be more dynamic and better.

Kay:

Uh,

Kay:

performed, but yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

The alternative to Obi-Wan versus Vader.

. Kay:

So yes, prince got knocked down by one of the blaster bolts.

. Kay:

Left for dead as the hay bail is set on fire.

. Kay:

And with the princess brought to the dark fortress, we cut to the scene where

. Kay:

it's funny that you should mention OB one.

. Kay:

because we have The old man, character was also the narrator, by the way.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, let's just keep calling him.

Khaki-Bot:

I'll be one.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, I'm sure that They all have names.

Khaki-Bot:

but I, I can't be bothered to look them up.

Kay:

Smith's a bit of a poultice on the princess.

Kay:

Wounded shoulder.

Kay:

This is where we get the beautiful app Schultz.

Khaki-Bot:

He is a fit gentlemen like.

Kay:

is

Khaki-Bot:

we do not know this man from anything.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, I say we, you and I.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah,

Khaki-Bot:

right.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, it was interesting looking at the credits.

Khaki-Bot:

There was only two names that I recognized and they were

Khaki-Bot:

very, very far down the list.

Khaki-Bot:

There's Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane.

Kay:

Yep.

Khaki-Bot:

I

Khaki-Bot:

don't imagine that anyone who sold this film would have

Khaki-Bot:

realized, Hey, those are two.

Khaki-Bot:

Those are going to be two world-class talents.

Khaki-Bot:

that will

Khaki-Bot:

entertain

Kay:

gentlemen, we need some had his little thing going on, but a Caltrain

Kay:

seemed a little bit more, mostly like standing around in the background

Kay:

and like, You only had a few lines.

Kay:

She was like, no.

Khaki-Bot:

lovely little mustache.

Khaki-Bot:

He had a high fade haircut.

Khaki-Bot:

And a

Khaki-Bot:

gorgeous little mustache.

Khaki-Bot:

I never knew that Robbie Coltrane was ever that young.

Kay:

You thought he'd just like prompted

Khaki-Bot:

Fully formed.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Harry and crotchety and like Liam Neeson.

Khaki-Bot:

I thought that at one point he would have been younger, but

Khaki-Bot:

no, apparently he was always,

Khaki-Bot:

rough living up

Kay:

up at that.

Khaki-Bot:

county cork or wherever he's from.

Kay:

I mean,

Kay:

let's see.

Kay:

Kenneth Marshall is the actor who plays the prince.

Kay:

And cold.

Kay:

Colwin but yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Brad

Kay:

prince Brad.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

I'm just having a quick look.

Kay:

He was like, he looked.

Kay:

A little bit, some roles here and there, but nothing massive that

Kay:

you would immediately jump out.

Kay:

Of boom.

Kay:

They watch episode of quantum leap, episode of deep space nine.

Khaki-Bot:

deep space nine, you say.

Kay:

commander, Michael Edington in nine episodes said,

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh God, that lovely mane of hair.

Khaki-Bot:

It didn't last very long.

Khaki-Bot:

Did it?

Kay:

I don't, I don't recall.

Kay:

who.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, he's a Starfleet Security officer, and

Khaki-Bot:

he's a bit of an antagonist.

Khaki-Bot:

a little bit,

Khaki-Bot:

but I think

Khaki-Bot:

he has a redemption arc.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

But nine episodes

Kay:

Apparently.

Kay:

So,

Kay:

yes.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

So, here we have, for those of you who have read,

Khaki-Bot:

oh, I think it's Joseph Campbell.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm saying that, but it's the hero's journey.

Khaki-Bot:

Where folktales are dissected sort of like in Vladimir props

Khaki-Bot:

and morphology of the folk tale.

Khaki-Bot:

With some basic like steps, which this film early on follows to the letter

Khaki-Bot:

like here we have, obiwan arriving, uh, saving the prints, giving him the

Khaki-Bot:

seal of office that's taken off as dad,

Kay:

down.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

And telling him what he needs to do.

Khaki-Bot:

This is called the call to adventure.

Khaki-Bot:

And then

Khaki-Bot:

comes the refusal of the call.

Khaki-Bot:

Because the prince brat does not want any of this.

Khaki-Bot:

He even says like, you can have my kingdom, if you just let me rest.

Kay:

And he's like, oh yeah, he has a bit of a crying fit because he lost

Kay:

his bride and his fight in his father.

Kay:

OB one, admonish him,

Krull C-auphonic:

Father!

Krull C-auphonic:

There's no time now for grief.

Krull C-auphonic:

You haven't lost a father

Krull C-auphonic:

and a bride on the same day.

Krull C-auphonic:

Nor have I become king on that day.

Krull C-auphonic:

I have no kingdom.

Krull C-auphonic:

Your kingdom may be greater

Krull C-auphonic:

than you know.

Krull C-auphonic:

I give it to you, old man,

Krull C-auphonic:

and welcome to it.

Krull C-auphonic:

I came to find a king...

Krull C-auphonic:

and I find a boy instead.

Krull C-auphonic:

, Kay: yeah, then.

Krull C-auphonic:

Then just threatens to ride on off and like a little kid who sees mom

Krull C-auphonic:

walking off and sees that mom's not buying into his looking fit.

Krull C-auphonic:

Suddenly.

Krull C-auphonic:

The spine and.

Krull C-auphonic:

Comes on after him.

Krull C-auphonic:

Oh, well in.

Krull C-auphonic:

That case, where am I supposed to go?

Khaki-Bot:

Puts on his pleather shirt, which I can't imagine is

Khaki-Bot:

comfortable against your skin.

Khaki-Bot:

Actually like you.

Kay:

Did you see

Kay:

those pants?

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Khaki-Bot:

that as well.

Khaki-Bot:

Can you imagine the squeaking on the set?

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Well, we have been to two pride Amsterdam.

Khaki-Bot:

once where I know this was a different era for you.

Khaki-Bot:

where you, where you

Khaki-Bot:

rocked.

Khaki-Bot:

leather pants, which looked great.

Khaki-Bot:

And what material was that shirt?

Kay:

Rubber latex type shirts.

Khaki-Bot:

Now, how was that?

Kay:

And

Kay:

comfortable.

Khaki-Bot:

And

Khaki-Bot:

was the stench of talcum powers.

Khaki-Bot:

really, as overpowering as I imagined.

Kay:

not.

Kay:

It wasn't that bad.

Kay:

It was kind of weird actually, because it's like,

Kay:

It was black and skin title, obviously.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

So

Kay:

it was on the one hand quite hot because like it's black.

Kay:

So.

Kay:

It catches a lot of sunlight.

Kay:

but also immediately called again.

Kay:

It's like any, any breeze, wind, immediately cools it off.

Kay:

as well as well.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Kay:

So.

Kay:

Yeah, it's both.

Kay:

both warm and cold at the same time.

Kay:

Very, very peculiar to watch.

Kay:

uh, where.

Khaki-Bot:

So, yeah.

Kay:

he's told that he needs to go collect the glaze.

Kay:

Which is an ancient and he called out gloves on your symbol.

Kay:

The medallion, that he, his dad had also has to shape.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

At the base of the font where the fire was taken out during.

Khaki-Bot:

the wedding.

Kay:

And the window in the background was also kind of like

Kay:

a glass shaped.

Kay:

Uh, So, yeah.

Kay:

It's something that definitely comes back.

Khaki-Bot:

Like, it's a, it's basically like a sea star

Khaki-Bot:

with a bias in one direction.

Khaki-Bot:

Five point center.

Khaki-Bot:

And I had a slight curve to them and said,

Khaki-Bot:

For us, it's quite

Khaki-Bot:

an alien shape.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

right.

Khaki-Bot:

I.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean there's, nothing in like our cultural and.

Khaki-Bot:

Architectural tradition that that has that.

Khaki-Bot:

At once five pointed shape and swirling.

Kay:

So he has to go and get his.

Kay:

A brief horse ride to the mountains.

Kay:

Apparently in a cave at the top of the highest peak, which it's not because you

Kay:

can clearly see that there are higher peaks around it, but in the background,

Kay:

Yeah, nevermind.

Khaki-Bot:

And excuse to wander through the Dolomites.

Khaki-Bot:

where over the course of what is suggested to be quite a long ride.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, More exposition is delivered and I love how it's sort of like.

Khaki-Bot:

OB one tells him one line after the other.

Khaki-Bot:

And every line is into a cup with a very clearly a different mountain

Khaki-Bot:

or hill, And now they're mounted.

Khaki-Bot:

And then the next second book.

Khaki-Bot:

It's just beautiful.

Kay:

Set off on his own to go to the clan, the top.

Kay:

There's a random rock slide.

Khaki-Bot:

That

Khaki-Bot:

was actually like exciting to me.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, you know, he has to sort of Dodge

Kay:

the

Khaki-Bot:

rocks that

Khaki-Bot:

are coming.

Khaki-Bot:

Like it.

Khaki-Bot:

Gave a little chills.

Kay:

And at the top of the mountain, there is a cave which has lava flow.

Kay:

We're going through.

Kay:

And here we see this, like they have a special relationship with

Kay:

fire because he doesn't hesitate.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean He rolls up his sleeve.

Khaki-Bot:

Which is an interesting choice when you're about to plunge your.

Khaki-Bot:

Because he sees like the five-pointed silhouette of something in that

Khaki-Bot:

glow that he needs to retrieve.

Khaki-Bot:

And.

Khaki-Bot:

They don't seem to be able to make up their mind whether

Khaki-Bot:

it's lava or acid or both.

Khaki-Bot:

But he plunges his hand in there's there's

Kay:

fire something.

Kay:

Catches fire.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

I'm off his arm, but something catches fire.

Khaki-Bot:

And he pulls

Kay:

maybe.

Kay:

this

Kay:

is arm hair burning

Khaki-Bot:

off.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

This.

Khaki-Bot:

the sea star.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, the starfish out of the slime.

Khaki-Bot:

Which sloughs off its slag and reveals this beautiful golden shape that then.

Khaki-Bot:

doesn't come up for another hour and a half.

Kay:

Uh, As one of the critics called it to brass starfish.

Kay:

you saw.

Kay:

But yes.

Kay:

It gets immediately gets admonished by obiwan . When he wants to show it off

Krull C-auphonic:

Do not use it until you need it.

Krull C-auphonic:

- How will I know when?

Krull C-auphonic:

- You'll know.

Kay:

no, you shouldn't

Khaki-Bot:

go blind.

Kay:

Until you've met.

Kay:

Get heroin, your prompts.

Khaki-Bot:

We have the first, off many pointless little cuts to

Khaki-Bot:

princess Janet in the dark fortress.

Khaki-Bot:

where she's being held in a cell that looks like an eye.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Like it

Khaki-Bot:

looks like.

Khaki-Bot:

The I have like a a theme park giant.

Kay:

That's exactly what it reminded me of.

Kay:

you know, In in, uh, in the afternoon when you have the

Kay:

boat ride in the fatter Magana.

Kay:

There's one punch this huge guy standing over the

Khaki-Bot:

gin.

Khaki-Bot:

And it's like his

Khaki-Bot:

eyes, this

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes, Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

Apologies for those of you.

Khaki-Bot:

who've never been to the ethylene in the Netherlands, hardly recommend it.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a, it's a theme park that really takes a steaming very, very seriously.

Khaki-Bot:

I got like somewhere out there, there's a universe with a Crow theme

Khaki-Bot:

work that lives up to that level of

Kay:

Wow.

Kay:

That would be amazing.

Kay:

Right.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

So,

Khaki-Bot:

back

Khaki-Bot:

to the Dolomites,

Kay:

Well, they leave the Dolomites cause they go into the forest and as they are

Kay:

having a little sit around by a babbling pool, whether it's a little, a waterfall

Kay:

coming in, there's a strange light, suddenly appears crushed into the water.

Kay:

And the first of the for the party members arrives.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Following the, uh, the hero's journey.

Khaki-Bot:

He goes into the dark forest.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, sorry.

Khaki-Bot:

No, that's propaganda.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm mixing them up.

Khaki-Bot:

That's okay.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a movie about mixing sources up.

Khaki-Bot:

the first of the helpers arrived because this is an essential

Khaki-Bot:

part of the hero's journey.

Khaki-Bot:

The hero alone does not have the ability to confront the villain.

Khaki-Bot:

In fact,

Khaki-Bot:

He's already confronted the villains Forces and been defeated.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

So we have to build up much like Luke, Luke Skywalker.

Khaki-Bot:

Has to gain helpers like, I was going to say Gimli and Legolas, but this just goes

Khaki-Bot:

to show how, how powerful this trope is.

Khaki-Bot:

You have to go and wander about and sort of aid will coalesce

Khaki-Bot:

around you starting off with.

Krull C-auphonic:

I'm drowning!

Krull C-auphonic:

This might have been quicksand!

Krull C-auphonic:

I might have been sucked to my death

Krull C-auphonic:

while you stood there gawking!

Krull C-auphonic:

Where is

Khaki-Bot:

Like this, there's never explained why he

Khaki-Bot:

arrives as, a meteorite splashing into the pond and claiming that.

Khaki-Bot:

he can't swim.

Khaki-Bot:

This introduces

Krull C-auphonic:

you?

Khaki-Bot:

the only character whose name?

Khaki-Bot:

I remember it because he says it all the time.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Or go to the magnificent.

Kay:

What is he like?

Kay:

Uh, short in stature, toll in

Khaki-Bot:

named.

Khaki-Bot:

Narrow in

Kay:

purpose.

Kay:

and white

Khaki-Bot:

Yes, that's right.

Kay:

And he keeps repeating that several times.

Kay:

He's a bit of an ass.

Kay:

Also a bit of a magician because yes, you can apparently.

Kay:

I do spells and transform himself into various animals.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Kay:

think for gooseberries.

Khaki-Bot:

He's obsessed with gooseberries.

Khaki-Bot:

Yep.

Khaki-Bot:

He has this half, like a farmer's Almanac of spells that he can constantly.

Khaki-Bot:

seem to only work on him.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

He

Kay:

tries it on brat at once, but instead themselves gets turned

Kay:

into a goose fat, ugly goose.

Khaki-Bot:

There's a handsome goose.

Kay:

I mean, that's

Khaki-Bot:

I'm very angry goose.

Khaki-Bot:

I.

Khaki-Bot:

could see by one of the shots.

Khaki-Bot:

I think you've called it the Cobra chicken.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Kay:

This is from a joke.

Kay:

I'm not.

Kay:

Um, I'm not actually sure.

Kay:

It's a joke, but it was like someone who is in, I believe in Canada.

Kay:

Trying to get into the, uh, uh, university building.

Kay:

And,

Kay:

English wasn't quite so well.

Kay:

So he didn't know the word for goose and.

Kay:

like, you know, He said I did not like the Cobra chicken.

Khaki-Bot:

It's entirely appropriate.

Khaki-Bot:

It's like someone this lost.

Khaki-Bot:

And found notice of someone who'd found a ferret.

Khaki-Bot:

and That he didn't know what it was, Some sort of cat

Kay:

saying.

Kay:

It smells funny.

Kay:

But yes, he, uh, tries to go from his own, seize, a

Kay:

Cyclops or two will later turn out to be

Kay:

Also one of the

Kay:

companions and then.

Kay:

Cowardly decides to go join them anyway.

Krull C-auphonic:

who I am?

Krull C-auphonic:

No.

Khaki-Bot:

back to the princess Janet, who was told that she has

Khaki-Bot:

the run, of the, uh, the castle, but she will be married to the beast.

Kay:

Yes,

Kay:

he will have her as his bride.

Kay:

Rule the.

Kay:

galaxy together.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah,

Khaki-Bot:

this was the beast motivation.

Khaki-Bot:

Like there is on this world, a prophecy.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm really sort of piecing it together.

Khaki-Bot:

There's a.

Khaki-Bot:

There was a prophecy.

Khaki-Bot:

And so he came to this world.

Kay:

Oh, because she will choose her husband and they will rule the

Kay:

planet and their son will rule the

Kay:

galaxy.

Kay:

I think it makes

Kay:

sense.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

And

Khaki-Bot:

that's why he attacked this, uh, this castle and made.

Khaki-Bot:

like stopped attacking as soon as he had the princess.

Khaki-Bot:

Cause that was his

Kay:

Oh, that makes sense.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

it does.

Khaki-Bot:

It actually has a cohesive blog.

Kay:

This is also where we learned that the dark fortress moves.

Kay:

And disappears At Dawn every day and reappear somewhere else on the planet.

Kay:

Never in the same place twice, sometimes in the mountains, sometimes in the sea.

Kay:

Uh, Yeah.

Kay:

This is going to

Kay:

exaggerate the problem of.

Kay:

rescuing the princess.

Kay:

Cause it never know where it's going to be.

Kay:

It's not going to be there for a day.

Khaki-Bot:

Obiwan has a solution.

Khaki-Bot:

So now that they have the glove, which gives them the power, they

Khaki-Bot:

need to find the Emerald seer or

Kay:

something.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

And they take a shortcut through the

Khaki-Bot:

mountains, which unfortunately.

Khaki-Bot:

uh, yeah.

Kay:

only other

Kay:

people we see ever see on this entire movie that live here in Kroll.

Khaki-Bot:

I love that it's ergo who first notices that.

Khaki-Bot:

There are robbers

Kay:

here.

Khaki-Bot:

He's got a lot of personality.

Khaki-Bot:

This guy, like he reminded me a bit of, of.

Khaki-Bot:

Steve Coogan.

Khaki-Bot:

Although the Steve Kuiken would have been too young to play this, this role.

Khaki-Bot:

He's a British comedian.

Khaki-Bot:

in a bunch of stuff.

Kay:

Uh,

Khaki-Bot:

And they're accosted by these bandits now.

Khaki-Bot:

This is where we introduced to Liam Neeson.

Khaki-Bot:

in an \ underappreciated role.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, Robbie Coltrane and under appreciated role and the bandits

Khaki-Bot:

have like abandoned king.

Khaki-Bot:

Who is that?

Khaki-Bot:

Cause he's amazing.

Khaki-Bot:

I wonder

Kay:

whether you Armstrong.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, and the Wells style Allen.

Kay:

Again, not a lot that you would recognize him from, although I must

Kay:

say that one of the movies that he played in the title is fantastic.

Kay:

It's called Billy the kit and the green base.

Kay:

vampire.

Khaki-Bot:

I love that.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, you know what?

Khaki-Bot:

I think I actually know him.

Kay:

was impacted Patriot games.

Kay:

Uh, Helsing.

Khaki-Bot:

He's in, is in the mummy returns.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

no, I know there's

Khaki-Bot:

also a gentlemen.

Khaki-Bot:

Who's a magnificent head of hair.

Khaki-Bot:

Didn't last him.

Kay:

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Khaki-Bot:

But once it was gone what remained is that?

Khaki-Bot:

I'd rather a famous character actor.

Khaki-Bot:

I've definitely seen him in a bunch of stuff.

Khaki-Bot:

And he's just sensational here.

Khaki-Bot:

Like this guy Should have been the hero and then this film would

Khaki-Bot:

have been a lot more successful.

Khaki-Bot:

He's got.

Khaki-Bot:

He's got swagger.

Khaki-Bot:

He's got cool.

Khaki-Bot:

He's got, uh,

Krull C-auphonic:

see, these men

Krull C-auphonic:

follow no man but me...

Krull C-auphonic:

and I follow no man at all.

Krull C-auphonic:

- Khaki-Bot 2000: There's a brief,

Krull C-auphonic:

something in common that they don't kill men for no reason.

Kay:

Starbucks as well.

Kay:

Sorry.

Kay:

I watched, idiocrasy the other day.

Kay:

So.

Khaki-Bot:

And he calls them to arms prince.

Khaki-Bot:

Brad does, and only one of them.

Khaki-Bot:

Really like embraces it.

Khaki-Bot:

A young man.

Khaki-Bot:

and then prince Brad pulls his his sort of.

Kay:

glove

Khaki-Bot:

Medallia notes, the medallion.

Khaki-Bot:

This is going to get confusing.

Kay:

Okay.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

the medallion.

Kay:

Alright.

Khaki-Bot:

a key on it that he uses to unlock the manacles because

Khaki-Bot:

these are escaped prisoners and.

Kay:

It seems.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

And he goes like, oh, only the king and his high, uh, command.

Kay:

Lord Lord Marshall

Kay:

have the key to these medicals.

Khaki-Bot:

What a relief.

Khaki-Bot:

It must be.

Khaki-Bot:

to, to have been wearing these medicals for ever, and then

Khaki-Bot:

to be released from them.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

He Actually doesn't ask to be released.

Kay:

And he says like the texts.

Kay:

medicals with the boy.

Kay:

But the abandoned king goes like, no.

Kay:

Okay, well join you, but take them off.

Kay:

If we succeed and otherwise I will die wearing them.

Kay:

So he has a little bit of sense of pride in.

Kay:

Uh, in.

Kay:

his, in.

Kay:

his manacles.

Kay:

So, okay.

Kay:

One more thing.

Kay:

like we've mentioned this, the crawl glaze thing several times now, so.

Kay:

Okay.

Kay:

The glaze is a pole

Khaki-Bot:

I knew you were going to say this.

Khaki-Bot:

We okay.

Khaki-Bot:

We

Khaki-Bot:

have a proud tradition, of like obsessing over.

Khaki-Bot:

different types of arms.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

And way back when we still didn't cover my ass, you gave me a whole,

Khaki-Bot:

like a six hour diatribe in my memory.

Khaki-Bot:

Of the various types of.

Khaki-Bot:

there was the Guizar.

Khaki-Bot:

Let me see if I, if cocky can remember.

Khaki-Bot:

glove was one of them and that.

Khaki-Bot:

Ah, I mean, how was that?

Khaki-Bot:

It sort of looks like a crabs claw, right?

Khaki-Bot:

Or a lobster claw on a stick.

Khaki-Bot:

Is that the glacier?

Khaki-Bot:

I think it's

Kay:

It's like a blade with a little hook, sometimes a.

Kay:

little hook on it.

Kay:

It clearly, uh, is derived from the old Latin, what's it called?

Kay:

Gladys.

Kay:

Yes,

Khaki-Bot:

but.

Khaki-Bot:

That's a short sword.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, okay.

Kay:

And it's also

Kay:

still in modern French, should leave as a short sword.

Kay:

Oh, okay.

Kay:

But

Kay:

yes.

Kay:

It was like chosen because it was like a kind of undefined named, although yes,

Kay:

since the 15th century glaze is a poem.

Kay:

And here it's just a five-pointed.

Kay:

Uh, brash starfish with knives on it.

Khaki-Bot:

Good.

Khaki-Bot:

Like, it's one of those things where he's.

Khaki-Bot:

The prince Brad, when he sees it, he's never held one before.

Khaki-Bot:

each.

Khaki-Bot:

He couldn't possibly know that these claws will come out.

Khaki-Bot:

This could have been

Khaki-Bot:

a quick end For this film, If you'd held it in such a way

Khaki-Bot:

that when the claws came out,

Khaki-Bot:

it severed his, you know, his artery.

Khaki-Bot:

I was thinking of when, uh, when obiwan in star wars.

Khaki-Bot:

hands, Luke, the lightsaber, and he looks down the barrel straight away

Kay:

There is a shot of the book, but That is not in the movie.

Kay:

Actually.

Kay:

It is.

Kay:

There's a, there's a famous photo of it, But that's actually

Kay:

a, still from a production.

Kay:

Uh, still not.

Kay:

a,

Kay:

not actually in the movie, but yes, I know

Khaki-Bot:

thought he was going to do the Porrick

Kay:

I know exactly what you meant, what you're talking about.

Khaki-Bot:

And once again, they're being observed by this

Khaki-Bot:

silent statuesque Cyclops.

Khaki-Bot:

Yup.

Khaki-Bot:

Another fantastic like animatronic creation because.

Khaki-Bot:

Th this Cyclops, it takes a while for him to enter the story, but he

Khaki-Bot:

stands up with such dignity and.

Khaki-Bot:

In my memory, he has been blended with Andre, the giants

Khaki-Bot:

character from the princess bride.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

I.

Khaki-Bot:

remember him with a, rather like a distorted American accent.

Kay:

Interesting.

Khaki-Bot:

The the English.

Khaki-Bot:

accent that he has, like in my memory, they sort of blended together.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

It's a English American collaboration, this movie, but it was almost entirely

Kay:

shot in the Pinewood studios in LA.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, excellent.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

all of these.

Kay:

almost all these sets are internal sets.

Kay:

Look, a few of them.

Kay:

were, uh, external in uh, in Italy and England.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

When finally the, uh, Cyclops is introduced after air gods , pick

Kay:

some gooseberries and a Slayer.

Kay:

It's observing him and the cycle opposite intervenes by throwing

Kay:

his spear at the, uh, Slayer.

Khaki-Bot:

who dies off screen And then ergo faints and people glide to his

Khaki-Bot:

rescue and oh, who, who saved you here?

Kay:

It was a monster and then like, oh, it's a Cyclops.

Kay:

And we get a little bit of a backstory about the cycle.

Kay:

Opsys

Khaki-Bot:

who apparently used to live on another world.

Khaki-Bot:

So this is definitely like an like interstellar travel is known somehow.

Khaki-Bot:

Right?

Kay:

I mean, it makes sense I mean That's why you get the whole

Kay:

rule, the galaxy, I mean, this.

Kay:

This beast has already conquered many planets before, as we

Kay:

learned in the opening crawl.

Kay:

Oh wait,

Khaki-Bot:

but how does anybody travel between.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, he has this.

Kay:

I don't know, there must be other.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Kay:

I mean, Especially portraits, teleports.

Kay:

I mean, maybe there's other ways to get from one planet to the other looks like.

Kay:

This is the magic fire people.

Kay:

Maybe this is the fire nation planet.

Khaki-Bot:

It's, uh, it's really kind of a tragic romantic

Khaki-Bot:

story here where apparently.

Khaki-Bot:

his people used to have two eyes.

Khaki-Bot:

like Other men.

Khaki-Bot:

but they sacrificed one of their eyes.

Khaki-Bot:

in an exchange with the beast.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

And learn of

Khaki-Bot:

for the ability to see the future.

Krull C-auphonic:

But they were cheated.

Krull C-auphonic:

For the only future

Krull C-auphonic:

they are permitted to see...

Krull C-auphonic:

is the time of their own death.

Krull C-auphonic:

They're sad, solitary creatures,

Khaki-Bot:

Which is a bad wish.

Khaki-Bot:

I think there's an ergo at one point has a line.

Khaki-Bot:

that

Khaki-Bot:

seems to

Khaki-Bot:

come

Khaki-Bot:

out of nowhere as he passes.

Khaki-Bot:

uh, the Cyclops saying, I still think it's a foolish wish.

Khaki-Bot:

Which seems like it's calling back to some other line that he

Khaki-Bot:

never went up saying in the film, maybe he was cut out or something.

Kay:

There's a discussion he has with the boy.

Kay:

Uh, with the the seniors.

Kay:

Uh, assistant or brother as he calls him

Kay:

and they call it.

Kay:

He wishes for a puppy.

Kay:

I.

Khaki-Bot:

mean.

Khaki-Bot:

That's okay.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Nevermind.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, because he's just been transformed into a public and

Khaki-Bot:

transformed back out, and then he says, it's the fullest with oh,

Kay:

yes.

Kay:

I think that's what he was referring to, but yes.

Kay:

Speaking of boy and the seer.

Kay:

That's where they're going.

Kay:

They managed to find a particular Rockface, which opens up in a green

Kay:

light and inside we have an old man.

Khaki-Bot:

Wiley coyote slash Roadrunners situation where

Khaki-Bot:

they can walk through this wall.

Khaki-Bot:

Um, it's a, it's an interior scene.

Khaki-Bot:

It looks like a, like some kind of Tavern, lots of kryptonite glowing around.

Kay:

Uh, Emerald, I suppose.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh yes.

Khaki-Bot:

He's the Emerald

Khaki-Bot:

seer.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

And he has this like big Emerald, which starts floating and

Kay:

he starts using it for, uh, for doing some divination purposes to

Kay:

learn where the black fortresses.

Khaki-Bot:

He has a young boy, like apprentice assistant, Who's

Khaki-Bot:

also wearing green, like he is.

Khaki-Bot:

a, and.

Khaki-Bot:

it is not a very successful.

Khaki-Bot:

Divination.

Kay:

Because the beast intervenes, his beast hand appears grabs

Kay:

the crystal shatters it.

Kay:

It suddenly turns heck and windy for a moment.

Kay:

Uh, and.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

my vision is opposed, but there is a place where we could go

Khaki-Bot:

where.

Kay:

There's the Emerald temple, which is in the middle of the swamp,

Kay:

where three trees grow as one.

Kay:

And now we are on a quest to go to the swamp.

Khaki-Bot:

Wow.

Khaki-Bot:

Anyone who's, who's sat through this entire film and Hey, I say that as

Khaki-Bot:

if it's, as if it's a slog, it's not,

Khaki-Bot:

oh.

Khaki-Bot:

it is.

Khaki-Bot:

It is a breathless film.

Khaki-Bot:

but, uh, we are moving through it as if we were riding fire mayors.

Khaki-Bot:

'cause

Kay:

yeah.

Kay:

The movie is literally two hours.

Kay:

And yes, we want to not have this podcast.

Kay:

The two hours, I think.

Khaki-Bot:

Into the swamp, they go.

Khaki-Bot:

where we get a little banter between all of these characters.

Khaki-Bot:

Finally.

Khaki-Bot:

Our shot with Robbie Coltrane and a, and Liam

Kay:

Neeson.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, together as they mock the prince of thieves who, uh,

Khaki-Bot:

he snapped some bits of kryptonite.

Kay:

Oh, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

to

Khaki-Bot:

show

Khaki-Bot:

off, Hey, we've got this wealth.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh no, they're just dumb rocks now.

Kay:

And It

Kay:

turns out to end the little smug smile from the seer.

Kay:

Uh, so yes.

Kay:

This was also a on studio, double O seven.

Kay:

In the Pinewood studios, one of the largest sound stages in the world.

Kay:

Uh, where they built this.

Kay:

The swamp was Apparently very uncomfortable Cause this was

Kay:

shot in the winter of 83.

Kay:

and it was quite cold there and the place was not sufficiently heated.

Kay:

Okay.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

So.

Khaki-Bot:

for the, uh, I mean, some Slaters come out of the water.

Khaki-Bot:

They must have been chilled to the bone.

Khaki-Bot:

I hope that we were wearing dry suits under the armor.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

SOPA or at least wetsuits.

Khaki-Bot:

So we get another cool fight.

Khaki-Bot:

There's an opening barrage from all of their lightning weapons.

Khaki-Bot:

And then it goes hand to hand thieves, the army of things

Khaki-Bot:

actually make good on their names.

Khaki-Bot:

They

Khaki-Bot:

are really capable against these slayers far more so than

Khaki-Bot:

the Knights of the kingdom.

Kay:

But

Kay:

the fight is probably only a distraction because while the entire

Kay:

band is busy, fighting the slayers.

Kay:

A doppelganger.

Kay:

Approaches the seer and kills and replaces him.

Khaki-Bot:

Now it was an interesting scene because this

Khaki-Bot:

doppelganger approaches and then reaches out and the fingers become gnarled

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

Long, Long nails.

Kay:

Growing into clause.

Khaki-Bot:

Like clasping around the Cedars thrilled.

Khaki-Bot:

But the changeling, which we learn that it is.

Khaki-Bot:

And actually it seems to be weeping.

Khaki-Bot:

seems to be

Khaki-Bot:

like,

Khaki-Bot:

Tormented by having to do this.

Kay:

Oh, I thought

Kay:

it was the sear who was being tormented.

Khaki-Bot:

I thought so, too, but like cutting back and forth the.

Khaki-Bot:

The sear who is being strangled as his mouth open.

Khaki-Bot:

And a screaming or like a choking in pain?

Khaki-Bot:

I think it's the other one who cries.

Kay:

Oh, okay.

Khaki-Bot:

this relates to what we call the seducing wench.

Khaki-Bot:

That we meet lead run.

Khaki-Bot:

She's also a changing and she's also tormented by what she has to do.

Khaki-Bot:

So.

Khaki-Bot:

it seems as if this changing is a.

Khaki-Bot:

Um,

Kay:

And shut the same black eyes, but I thought that was just the

Kay:

mark of the beast or something.

Khaki-Bot:

And her hand also changes.

Khaki-Bot:

into this, uh, neural.

Khaki-Bot:

So they seem to have the ability to to kill with a touch when

Kay:

Right.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Which is what the CEO wants to do, like as, as the

Khaki-Bot:

replacement seer, the changeling, is led off first by, uh, by prince brat.

Khaki-Bot:

He's got his hand is on, on, on prince bad shoulder and sort of spider walking

Khaki-Bot:

along his shoulder closer to that.

Khaki-Bot:

Juicy juicy, Nick.

Kay:

but the.

Kay:

The CIF.

Khaki-Bot:

the prince of

Kay:

prince of thieves.

Kay:

intervenes and Takes over the leading.

Khaki-Bot:

A quick cup back to, the princess Janet, who's walking through

Khaki-Bot:

a, an extremely vaginal interior.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

All of

Kay:

Oh, call it intestinal, but yes.

Khaki-Bot:

All of these sort of oval shaped hole ways and some

Khaki-Bot:

of them like seal in on themselves.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

for someone who got the run of the palace, there seems to be an awful lot of.

Kay:

messing around, going on with her.

Khaki-Bot:

Now

Khaki-Bot:

Multiple days have passed that dress is not a comfortable thing to sleep in.

Kay:

I suppose not no.

Khaki-Bot:

Her hair

Khaki-Bot:

is amazing though.

Khaki-Bot:

We get our

Khaki-Bot:

first glimpse of the, uh, the beast.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Big red eye.

Kay:

Huge face.

Khaki-Bot:

Very distant.

Khaki-Bot:

Distorted through the, uh, through the lens.

Kay:

Right?

Kay:

That.

Kay:

An intentional effect.

Kay:

So I would say.

Kay:

It's a big, animatronic suit.

Kay:

Uh, it's meant to be worn and it's got like a cable.

Kay:

The going for heartbeat and all the other.

Kay:

Uh, controls.

Kay:

But it was always intentionally filmed through distortion as.

Kay:

If to make it look like it's not entirely on the same realm of plane of

Kay:

existence.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

that was a deliberate, artistic choice to yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

because it's sort of stretched out and there's.

Khaki-Bot:

We're lending and presuming.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Excellent.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, it's often a good idea to keep your Villa mysterious, especially

Khaki-Bot:

if it's alien looking creature.

Khaki-Bot:

Keep it like.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, just intriguing.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a fine line.

Khaki-Bot:

Because remember in Farscape pay.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, we're Farscape Podcasts.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, hold on the remains to

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

The Kiva was really out.

Khaki-Bot:

So out of view all the time, that by the time you finally got to see it,

Khaki-Bot:

it was clearly like a dude in a suit.

Khaki-Bot:

I don't think it was as effective as a, as here.

Khaki-Bot:

There's another scene in the swamp.

Khaki-Bot:

Which shows off, I mean, this, this.

Kay:

I mean, This is

Kay:

the eighties.

Kay:

There has to be a quick sensing.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Which does not work.

Khaki-Bot:

This way.

Khaki-Bot:

Like It's much easier to explain in Dutch where the word for quicksand

Khaki-Bot:

is drives on, which is floating sand because you float right.

Khaki-Bot:

Standard.

Khaki-Bot:

Like

Kay:

you will never sink.

Kay:

More than waist, deep into quicksand because.

Kay:

no sat, quicksand is denser than water and much denser than a human body.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

So, yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Do

Khaki-Bot:

you know

Khaki-Bot:

how to get out?

Kay:

Swim, I suppose.

Khaki-Bot:

because you won't be able to swim because you were up

Khaki-Bot:

to you about your waste, about your

Khaki-Bot:

belly button.

Khaki-Bot:

I think your legs are kind of

Khaki-Bot:

stuck because

Khaki-Bot:

it sort of locks.

Khaki-Bot:

in place, right?

Khaki-Bot:

The sand sort of collapses.

Khaki-Bot:

So what you do is you lean your weight on one leg.

Khaki-Bot:

I think he makes sort of stirring motions with your other leg.

Kay:

Yeah to get

Khaki-Bot:

gradually stirring it to get more water.

Khaki-Bot:

into the sand until you can raise that up a bit.

Khaki-Bot:

And you lean on that one.

Khaki-Bot:

You do the same with the other one.

Khaki-Bot:

So gradually.

Khaki-Bot:

Because the sand sort of wants to lock in.

Khaki-Bot:

And you can walk upward that way.

Khaki-Bot:

So I've been

Khaki-Bot:

told.

Kay:

No, that makes

Kay:

sense.

Kay:

Uh, yeah.

Kay:

There's lots of back and forth thing.

Kay:

Like for me, Human change.

Kay:

prickly, this is like, this was cork.

Kay:

Clearly floating on a bit of water.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, I thought you said like county cork

Kay:

No, no.

Kay:

No.

Kay:

no.

Kay:

Cool.

Kay:

It's also a very unconcerned.

Kay:

Robbie Coltrane.

Kay:

is like, you can see him like.

Kay:

this.

Kay:

just kind of like.

Kay:

a, to dirty to going around there in the back, like, oh, just like

Kay:

going through the quicksand.

Khaki-Bot:

So that's the, we paycheck for me.

Krull C-auphonic:

The ground.

Krull C-auphonic:

It's sinking!

Krull C-auphonic:

It is the power of the Beast.

Krull C-auphonic:

- Link up!

Krull C-auphonic:

Make a chain!

Krull C-auphonic:

- Help!

Krull C-auphonic:

Get me out!

Krull C-auphonic:

Rhun, get hold of him!

Krull C-auphonic:

Hurry!

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, It was really unclear what all of

Khaki-Bot:

these characters were called.

Khaki-Bot:

They, they.

Khaki-Bot:

They

Kay:

have names, but yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

but I couldn't really keep track of them all.

Khaki-Bot:

One of them dies.

Khaki-Bot:

It's not one that we know.

Khaki-Bot:

I don't think, I don't think it's the young man, but

Kay:

no, no.

Kay:

We see him later because the young man is the one who led to bounce.

Kay:

One of the horses.

Khaki-Bot:

Exactly.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, unable to be saved.

Khaki-Bot:

And having made it through.

Khaki-Bot:

the swamp.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, the team has kind of completed this point because the Cyclops

Khaki-Bot:

has like revealed himself and.

Khaki-Bot:

And joined them.

Khaki-Bot:

and shaking hands a bit.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, there was a funny bit of business between ergo and the

Khaki-Bot:

kid whose name was ditch or Tich

Kay:

ditch.

Kay:

I think

Krull C-auphonic:

I'm Titch.

Krull C-auphonic:

That's

Khaki-Bot:

Um, the, the Cyclops, cause there's a bit of mistrust and.

Khaki-Bot:

Like, this is a really fun little Trinity where ergo is, is sort of trying to,

Khaki-Bot:

protect the boy who is much more worldly and experienced than, uh, than he is.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

For someone

Kay:

who seems to get around a bit.

Kay:

Yeah, he does.

Kay:

The kids seems to be no lots and be.

Kay:

Quite.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, he's had a decent education.

Khaki-Bot:

It seems from, the seer who unfortunately.

Khaki-Bot:

Turns out to have died in the meantime.

Kay:

This is

Kay:

actually where the exchange was the changeling happens.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

It's while they're all stuck in the in the swamp.

Khaki-Bot:

That's where the attack was just an attack.

Khaki-Bot:

And then this was a secondary.

Kay:

I misremembered it.

Khaki-Bot:

Ah, It's fine.

Khaki-Bot:

There's plenty of Confusion to go around.

Khaki-Bot:

But they do reach the temple.

Khaki-Bot:

Which is just three trees growing together.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

And the senior says,

Krull C-auphonic:

seeks the knowledge

Krull C-auphonic:

must lead me.

Krull C-auphonic:

No one else may approach.

Khaki-Bot:

but that's a trap.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Because just as the seer starts to reach out, to try and choke prince Brad's

Kay:

The Cyclops who stayed behind to watch for people who might be following them.

Kay:

Sees the corpse of the real sea are floating up out of the quicksand because.

Kay:

apparently that's what quicksand does.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

Suddenly Pope.

Kay:

And

Khaki-Bot:

Run run, run, run runs.

Kay:

throws his strident and kills the changeling.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh yes, it is Trident.

Khaki-Bot:

Isn't

Kay:

Well, that's actually a full then.

Kay:

Because there's a Lieutenant will spike in the middle, but

Kay:

yeah.

Kay:

Mo quite yet.

Kay:

It's consistently referred to as Trident.

Khaki-Bot:

And the change thing face melt.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a really cool effect.

Khaki-Bot:

think that they made like a cost of this actor's head.

Khaki-Bot:

out of latex and then like lit a fire inside of it because you got these.

Kay:

it looks about.

Kay:

Like what's happening.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

Y coming

Khaki-Bot:

And postulate.

Kay:

and so many of the beasts cronies are henchmen.

Kay:

Whenever they die, they just kind of like disappeared into the ground.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Convenience.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

I mean, it's like a video game where ] anybody, you

Kay:

shoot just kind of disappears.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, you don't want to keep bothering with all that rendering.

Kay:

All the bodies laying around.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Khaki-Bot:

B one has an idea.

Khaki-Bot:

However, all is not lost.

Khaki-Bot:

There is one other person who might know, and that's the widow of the

Kay:

web.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Prince of thieves is skeptical.

Kay:

But I mean, And he hasn't got anything else to go by.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, so some further tracking during which like the bond

Khaki-Bot:

between ergo and ditch continues.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Kay:

yeah, or good turns himself into a puppy that.

Khaki-Bot:

Does he do that on purpose?

Kay:

Yeah, I think so.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

All

Kay:

pretty sure he does that to help the boy.

Kay:

To give the boy a little bit of a puppy time.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, he's a little beagle.

Khaki-Bot:

It's it's really adorable.

Kay:

And once they get to the right forest, then all B one goes off and

Kay:

goes to find the widow of the web.

Kay:

who turns out to be his ex yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

the thieves.

Khaki-Bot:

And, and our heroes all stay behind.

Khaki-Bot:

And the prince of thieves says to Liam Neeson.

Khaki-Bot:

Hey.

Khaki-Bot:

You're a bit of a slut doesn't want, if your wives live here.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yes.

Krull C-auphonic:

she cook?

Krull C-auphonic:

It's not her strongest point,

Khaki-Bot:

There's a community of slots here.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

Very fun slots.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

I kind of, I kind of liked that.

Khaki-Bot:

Like I hope.

Khaki-Bot:

that this is not just some kind of like patriarchal luxury, but, you

Khaki-Bot:

know, Uh, civilization of slots.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a fine like culture to belong to.

Kay:

It sounds like we wandered into an episode of Oglala.

Khaki-Bot:

love.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, rogue slot has been cited in the, in the countryside.

Kay:

but Yes.

Kay:

as the princess, Janet is still moving around the fortress.

Kay:

She finds a room that looks kinda like the inside of her mouth.

Kay:

I suppose.

Kay:

Lots of teeth

Kay:

and she is once more confronted by the beast who now shows that he

Kay:

can take any form that he likes.

Kay:

, he.

Kay:

Takes the form of prince breath,

Khaki-Bot:

in his marriage, uh, scarf.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah,

Kay:

but

Kay:

still with the red eyes.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, and she backs away and I'm like, Hey, Janet.

Khaki-Bot:

Hear him out.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

I mean, this is good.

Kay:

And she goes like, oh, your principal betray you because

Kay:

look, he's making out with a slot.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Is He sort of space FaceTimes space times.

Khaki-Bot:

The two.

Khaki-Bot:

to what is literally happening right now Like it's

Kay:

at the time.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Kind of economical to have these scenes because yes,

Khaki-Bot:

one of these neighborhoods, lots.

Khaki-Bot:

Just talking to a prince brat and saying, oh, but you are

Khaki-Bot:

without comfort and oh, don't you.

Krull C-auphonic:

This is a lie!

Krull C-auphonic:

I know how painful it is

Krull C-auphonic:

to be far from your lover.

Krull C-auphonic:

He will betray you.

Krull C-auphonic:

Comfort me for one night.

Krull C-auphonic:

He will not.

Krull C-auphonic:

I can't betray my bride.

Krull C-auphonic:

Then he will die.

Krull C-auphonic:

Let me comfort you.

Krull C-auphonic:

I can't accept comfort when

Krull C-auphonic:

she

Khaki-Bot:

Very Galahad.

Kay:

He refuses her.

Kay:

she goes

Kay:

you must not reward me cause I didn't kill you.

Kay:

I could've killed you because I am one of the beasts henchman.

Khaki-Bot:

Does she say it like that?

Khaki-Bot:

I thought

Kay:

no, not in those words, but pretty much.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

What?

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, that's not what I got from it.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, maybe I did just didn't pay.

Khaki-Bot:

as close attention as you did.

Khaki-Bot:

Well.

Khaki-Bot:

What I saw was that he rejected her.

Khaki-Bot:

And so her secondary mission was to kill him.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Kay:

And then she doesn't.

Khaki-Bot:

Because like in that moment, I loved you.

Khaki-Bot:

Like she is redeemed.

Khaki-Bot:

by from, from her slut hood, by falling for the hero.

Khaki-Bot:

She tells him that.

Khaki-Bot:

And that's when a printer Janet says to the beast.

Khaki-Bot:

ha ha.

Khaki-Bot:

He does not.

Khaki-Bot:

I.

Khaki-Bot:

He was betrayed.

Khaki-Bot:

It

Kay:

Yes, you.

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Because the love is mightier than.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

And then The beast swipes rights and the.

Kay:

girl disappears with the screen.

Krull C-auphonic:

Remember me.

Khaki-Bot:

And thus the number of female characters with

Khaki-Bot:

agencies If reduced once again.

Khaki-Bot:

now we're about to be introduced to, a new one, which is the widow of the web.

Khaki-Bot:

Don't get too excited.

Khaki-Bot:

She doesn't last very long.

Khaki-Bot:

No.

Kay:

So, yeah.

Kay:

I'll be one has to like climb through the.

Kay:

The death star.

Kay:

Which is kind of like spider webbed up A little bit.

Kay:

because it's the widow of the web.

Khaki-Bot:

I love this.

Khaki-Bot:

And he'd like, one of these web strands is, uh, oh, there's.

Khaki-Bot:

like, there's a name for it.

Khaki-Bot:

Like there's a signal strand or something.

Kay:

Oh, okay.

Khaki-Bot:

When certain spiders, like, their webs are

Khaki-Bot:

constructed to be mostly sticky,

Khaki-Bot:

but then There's a few strands that are slightly slack, but very strong.

Khaki-Bot:

And, uh, while they're resting in the central of the web, they

Khaki-Bot:

keep a leg on each one of these, so they can feel the vibrations.

Khaki-Bot:

And then when something hits it or, uh, They know where it is.

Kay:

Oh, that's very clever.

Khaki-Bot:

And So the spider of this web.

Khaki-Bot:

which is a really cool creation.

Kay:

It's a big kind of semi translucent spider.

Khaki-Bot:

You can see like red organs on the inside

Khaki-Bot:

and it's a it's approaching.

Khaki-Bot:

It's.

Khaki-Bot:

It looks a little janky.

Kay:

This was

Kay:

actually the first.

Kay:

seeing the shot in the production schedule.

Kay:

Huh.

Kay:

Yeah,

Khaki-Bot:

I guess he was the first one that was cost or available because

Kay:

I guess, or does the first step that was ready

Khaki-Bot:

something elaborate

Kay:

It is.

Kay:

I did it without any safety wires too.

Kay:

So yeah.

Kay:

That would have been kind of too visible, but.

Kay:

yeah.

Kay:

So the spiders kind of stop motion.

Kay:

I would say.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes, this is unfortunate bit of timing because it was

Khaki-Bot:

like a year away from the general availability of the technology that

Khaki-Bot:

would really, really improve stop motion was introduced in a star wars.

Khaki-Bot:

The empire strikes back with the.

Khaki-Bot:

At app.

Khaki-Bot:

Um, and it's where you, you do stop motion.

Khaki-Bot:

But you move the camera and the object.

Khaki-Bot:

Every time you take a frame.

Khaki-Bot:

So they're all like

Khaki-Bot:

slightly motorized and this was okay to do with, mechanical

Khaki-Bot:

devices now, X wings, and.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, an app ads.

Khaki-Bot:

About a year later, I think dragon Slayer would be released

Khaki-Bot:

with a very young Peter McNichol.

Khaki-Bot:

No.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, which would have an animatronic dragon where sort of a living

Khaki-Bot:

creature was also animated like that.

Khaki-Bot:

And it was just out of this world.

Khaki-Bot:

How much better it looked than this, this janky.

Khaki-Bot:

staccato stop motion.

Kay:

but he manages to, uh, make his way through the web.

Kay:

And just a, spider's about to attack him.

Kay:

He calls out the name of the widow who recognized it and grants him

Kay:

time by turning her hourglass.

Kay:

Which freezes the spider and gives him time to get to the center of the wet.

Khaki-Bot:

It's not a lot.

Khaki-Bot:

Like he approached the center and he sees a figure through the haze of A

Khaki-Bot:

spider webs and, said, oh, I'm here now.

Khaki-Bot:

but no,

Kay:

Yeah, no, Uh, he does have to be a little Tarzan swinging on the web.

Kay:

uh, until he finally makes his way in.

Kay:

And there's an old woman sitting there.

Kay:

Who turns out to be his old.

Kay:

Girlfriends Aish.

Khaki-Bot:

This one as a storage modern like feminist, I did not

Khaki-Bot:

really appreciate because there's, this there's quite some ageism.

Khaki-Bot:

She is this, uh, this withered crone who laments the loss of her uh, her youth who

Khaki-Bot:

has been embittered by abandonment by.

Khaki-Bot:

uh, uh, the man that she loved in her youth.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Apparently he had to leave and she didn't, he didn't know that she was

Kay:

pregnant at the time and because he was.

Kay:

He left her.

Kay:

She killed there son.

Khaki-Bot:

Yep.

Kay:

punishment is to sit here in the web.

Khaki-Bot:

And he could never forgive her, but he has forgiven her this.

Kay:

Instantly.

Kay:

Yeah,

Khaki-Bot:

All of this.

Khaki-Bot:

It's just stupid and because he's forgiven her.

Khaki-Bot:

then she can see through his eyes and she sees her beautiful

Khaki-Bot:

young self in the mirror.

Khaki-Bot:

And now she's beautiful.

Khaki-Bot:

Again.

Khaki-Bot:

And that's.

Khaki-Bot:

What the fuck.

Kay:

That's so weird, but yes.

Kay:

His vision gives her youth and she asked which vision he or she can give him.

Kay:

And he's like, give me the location of the fortress.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, I don't care about all your shit

Khaki-Bot:

that you've got going on.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, let's just not deal with your emotional baggage or you as a character,

Khaki-Bot:

but just, this is the thing that I need because that's what women exist to do.

Khaki-Bot:

To provide motivation.

Khaki-Bot:

danger and power to men so

Khaki-Bot:

that the plot can move on.

Kay:

The plug does need to be advanced rather quickly because

Kay:

he needs to leave the web again.

Kay:

And she says, no man has ever left the web.

Khaki-Bot:

And he looks at the, uh, the hourglass.

Kay:

sorry.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

Sorry.

Kay:

Only do that once.

Kay:

But, Uh, if I smash it and I give you the sounds of my life.

Kay:

The spider cannot harm you, but your life will also run out.

Kay:

So as soon as the Sandoz.

Khaki-Bot:

This is another one of those situations where it wouldn't it

Khaki-Bot:

make a lot more sense for her to walk out and then continue his mission.

Khaki-Bot:

And for them, for him to die here.

Kay:

It seems to make sense.

Kay:

I mean, if she's allowed to,

Khaki-Bot:

She's got the.

Kay:

yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Her character arc has been resolved.

Khaki-Bot:

She's apparently been redeemed of her crime.

Khaki-Bot:

So what's the, what's the punishment.

Kay:

Yeah, she goes away.

Khaki-Bot:

Just another little suggestion for Netflix.

Khaki-Bot:

If you're listening.

Khaki-Bot:

are you going to make your crawl remake?

Kay:

we want it on the writer's room.

Khaki-Bot:

Barely manages to escape it's another thrilling, like.

Khaki-Bot:

Our rapid fire, commentary.

Khaki-Bot:

Doesn't do justice to just how exciting all this

Kay:

No, but.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

As soon as he, uh,

Kay:

managed to leave the layer, spider returns to the center of the weapon.

Kay:

Like just a little bit of electric cracking their

Kay:

shakes, depart and presumed.

Kay:

that blue B dies along with the widow of the web, which is like Ms.

Kay:

She's not really a widow of the web this year.

Kay:

Like this.

Kay:

This dude is her.

Kay:

It is her.

Kay:

I mean he was alive.

Kay:

So like, even if they were married and she's clearly not a widow, but yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Khaki-Bot:

this is a missed opportunity.

Khaki-Bot:

Spinster would have been better.

Kay:

Oh,

Kay:

damn.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Very good.

Krull C-auphonic:

about your life?

Krull C-auphonic:

I give it to the girl who bears

Kay:

obiwan makes his way back to the camp Uh, and man, just, just to tell

Kay:

them, that's the dark fortress will be in the iron desert from Dawn on.

Kay:

For one day and then he dies.

Kay:

It's the loss of the sand runs out of Santa.

Kay:

And again, I'm not doing it.

Kay:

Justice is like a lot more.

Kay:

A lot more dramatic than I were making it out here,

Kay:

the problem is that iron desert is like a thousand leagues away.

Kay:

And I did a bit of research on this and this means it can be anywhere between.

Kay:

a 4.7 and 7,400 kilometers because legally.

Kay:

Originally speaking is very, ill-defined like, okay.

Kay:

But These these days is considered to be three statute miles, I

Kay:

believe, but historically speaking.

Kay:

there's quite quite a lot of distance in a league.

Khaki-Bot:

And there's that little like nautical leaks, because that's

Khaki-Bot:

why I don't like 20,000 leagues under

Kay:

the snow.

Kay:

Because it's one of those things that like a lot of people

Kay:

have different links for what.

Kay:

And one league.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, okay.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

It's sort of makes sense.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, this is like, also one of the reasons why Napoleon is

Khaki-Bot:

considered a short route ruler.

Khaki-Bot:

He was not short.

Kay:

Oh.

Khaki-Bot:

even for the time, but there was two things.

Khaki-Bot:

French foot is longer than the English foot.

Kay:

Uh, yes,

Khaki-Bot:

he was five

Khaki-Bot:

foot, two.

Khaki-Bot:

but that's a lot taller.

Kay:

And that it sounds in English.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

And he also surrounded himself with like his personal guard

Khaki-Bot:

where we're big old basketball players.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Khaki-Bot:

so he looked a little shorter in comparison to his is, you know,

Kay:

Okay, that makes sense.

Kay:

Yep.

Kay:

Uh, but yes.

Kay:

Fortunately, there is one creature who can travel a thousand league in a day

Krull C-auphonic:

Fire mares.

Krull C-auphonic:

Fire mares can travel

Krull C-auphonic:

There's time

Khaki-Bot:

We get a really cool like horse rustling scene with these.

Khaki-Bot:

These beautiful animals.

Khaki-Bot:

Like what are they freezing?

Kay:

Clydesdales.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Not a famously fast horse.

Kay:

The big.

Khaki-Bot:

I think all these lovely, like feathered FET locks.

Khaki-Bot:

and it's it's, it's just this like the clearly all domesticated, like

Khaki-Bot:

they've got the blaze on the forehead, which is one of the, one of the

Khaki-Bot:

traits of domesticated animals.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

But there's a, there's a cattle rustling scene and yes, the boy.

Khaki-Bot:

In quite a dangerous stunt, jumps off a rock onto one of the

Khaki-Bot:

herd members and bounces off.

Kay:

Good thing He picked the last one because yeah.

Kay:

It's also fun to see that.

Kay:

if you look a little bit at the background and the ground itself,

Kay:

when the first scene of the horses riding into this canyon, in which

Kay:

they're going to do the hustling.

Kay:

It's still kind of like green and fresh.

Kay:

and then it almost immediately turns into a big mud pool.

Kay:

Uh, in the next shot.

Kay:

Because it's clearly been driving those horses back and forth a

Kay:

lot through that canyon that day.

Khaki-Bot:

And the grass doesn't survive

Kay:

Nope.

Khaki-Bot:

Certainly over those.

Khaki-Bot:

Those big old dinner plate.

Khaki-Bot:

Who's the clients they'll

Kay:

have.

Kay:

no.

Khaki-Bot:

Cyclops point out the gray one is the leader.

Khaki-Bot:

So the leader of the fire mayors.

Khaki-Bot:

whom, Uh, prince Brad lassos and we see very clearly that is not what

Kay:

Uh, mayor,

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, then again, I don't know.

Khaki-Bot:

We don't know how they identify.

Khaki-Bot:

It's like that.

Khaki-Bot:

The doctor who episode.

Khaki-Bot:

and wherever.

Kay:

His name is Susan.

Kay:

And she wants you to respect this.

Kay:

George's.

Khaki-Bot:

his hell.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

So yes, off.

Kay:

site clubs.

Kay:

Since he has to stay because his time has come and if he does not

Kay:

die in the way that he has foreseen, they will put himself in great pain.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

, it's something that, uh, the titch also.

Khaki-Bot:

uh, explains and finally ergo shakes his hand.

Khaki-Bot:

That's been a long time coming.

Khaki-Bot:

Go shakes.

Khaki-Bot:

The Cyclops is hand and.

Khaki-Bot:

It's goodbye in gratitude.

Krull C-auphonic:

Rell, I'll ride with you.

Krull C-auphonic:

I have to stay We had no

Khaki-Bot:

There's amazing sequence of them riding these fire

Khaki-Bot:

mares and the prince of thieves is actually like standing on it.

Khaki-Bot:

Back.

Khaki-Bot:

It's a bad.

Khaki-Bot:

like bad horsemanship

Kay:

doing.

Kay:

They must have said quite a lot of scenery on fire.

Kay:

Cause like you see the smoky.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

They must've just like literally put the countryside on fire.

Kay:

to make those But yes, there's some nighttime riding and fun point to

Kay:

actually go riding through the sky.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

The flaming hoof horses.

Kay:

Of

Khaki-Bot:

so, so good.

Kay:

Across the endless.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, because they only have until the next sunrise

Khaki-Bot:

to get into the dock for fortress.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Arrive in the iron deserts.

Kay:

right to the fortress.

Kay:

Uh, and start climbing it.

Khaki-Bot:

they're immediately beset by, uh, the fortress.

Khaki-Bot:

Slayer's now there are different from the slaves that we've

Khaki-Bot:

seen before they have white

Kay:

honor.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

The gun ports open and they start shooting through them.

Kay:

Trying to impede their, approach into the castle

Khaki-Bot:

couple.

Khaki-Bot:

of thieves by it.

Khaki-Bot:

And there's really not a lot.

Khaki-Bot:

They can do.

Khaki-Bot:

Prince Brad says we should rush them.

Khaki-Bot:

And the prince of thieves says, no, that's that's, that's too

Kay:

Suicide.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

, Robbie Coltrane gets it here.

Kay:

I believe.

Khaki-Bot:

He has

Khaki-Bot:

a little quiet death scene.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

Uh, but fortunately the Cyclops appears and he seems to be impervious

Kay:

to the blaster bolts of the slayers.

Kay:

Um, he walked straight on through.

Kay:

Knocks one of the guys out of his shooting port and holds

Kay:

it open as it starts to close.

Kay:

Buys everybody enough time to get inside and then dies his horrible death

Khaki-Bot:

as he has slowly

Kay:

crushed in

Kay:

the.

Khaki-Bot:

Now this part I remembered.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, this one, this one stuck with me as a, it was such a tragic death.

Kay:

You assume he would have died peacefully.

Kay:

whenever it was as long as it was with the horses, but no, he chose to come help his.

Kay:

Compatriots and pay the price that for that.

Khaki-Bot:

maybe that was just, oh, he just realized,

Khaki-Bot:

oh, I'm in an opiate meadow.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes,

Khaki-Bot:

As most for told this is where I'm supposed to die

Khaki-Bot:

and he got his pipe out and.

Kay:

Fair point.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

But no, he decided to to be the hero

Khaki-Bot:

sentencing himself to, to great pain.

Khaki-Bot:

It's not a great way to go.

Khaki-Bot:

but our heroes are now inside the fortress just before it vanishes from iron desert.

Khaki-Bot:

and reappears in, Hey, another meadow in the Dolomites.

Kay:

There's a lot of running through the castle, a little bit of shooting.

Kay:

More slayers.

Kay:

There's a scene in which a whole way splits into, uh, and

Khaki-Bot:

oh yeah.

Kay:

this was like quite a dangerous seat for.

Kay:

To fill them because those were two enormous set pieces, which

Kay:

were controlled by hydraulics.

Kay:

And the, they nearly crushed.

Kay:

the, uh,

Khaki-Bot:

prince plants legs.

Kay:

Just prince Brad.

Kay:

And like at one point when he was a sound been slow in a.

Kay:

Delivering his lions actually had two men have to cut it off because they

Kay:

realized that they weren't going to be able to pull them out in time.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, because like the floor splits open.

Khaki-Bot:

and then It seals back together again and he just barely makes it out.

Kay:

Apparently, this was like super dangerous and yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, Health and safety.

Khaki-Bot:

would have something to say about this.

Khaki-Bot:

Still $30 million went a long way in

Kay:

1984.

Khaki-Bot:

Liam Neeson buys it.

Khaki-Bot:

Unfortunately.

Khaki-Bot:

The death of the last slot.

Kay:

Uh, He had about eight wives or so, Yeah.

Kay:

So I guess you could call them slutty.

Krull C-auphonic:

My travelling days are over, my friend.

Krull C-auphonic:

- We'll get you out of here.

Krull C-auphonic:

Here's where I stay.

Khaki-Bot:

Well, he says, like, tell my wife, I loved her.

Khaki-Bot:

And like nobody says to his face yet, which one?

Khaki-Bot:

They'll just let him die and on.

Khaki-Bot:

We'll send a.

Khaki-Bot:

group message.

Kay:

arrives F the prison room Where his wife to be.

Kay:

And prison janitors.

Kay:

And he finally knows he puts to the prince of thieves.

Kay:

He puts on a note, let me handle this.

Kay:

And he finally pulls out the glaze, throws it in the air, starts

Kay:

controlling it like a RC drone.

Kay:

Uh,

Khaki-Bot:

I haven't written down the autoclave.

Khaki-Bot:

which I know is a different thing, but I thought it was a fun joke.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Uh, and styling starts cutting a hole in the wall.

Kay:

This takes quite a long time, long enough for the prince.

Kay:

The boy and, another one of the surviving thieves.

Kay:

To get sucked through some sort of.

Kay:

The wall.

Kay:

And then they get sucked into the hallway of spikes.

Kay:

Where they?

Kay:

uh,

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

So there's, there's three of the themes are in the spiky hallway.

Khaki-Bot:

The.

Khaki-Bot:

like it's also oval.

Khaki-Bot:

So it's the.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yeah, I'm going to say it.

Khaki-Bot:

Vagina.

Khaki-Bot:

Dentata.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah

Kay:

of the fortress.

Khaki-Bot:

Meanwhile like titch.

Khaki-Bot:

and an ergo have also been separated at ergo has transformed himself this

Khaki-Bot:

time into something actually useful.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Well, I say useful.

Khaki-Bot:

but like a goose would have done the job as

Kay:

well.

Kay:

Well, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Fierce guard

Kay:

He takes out.

Kay:

He takes out a few slayers and tiger form though, while.

Kay:

Prince Brad starts to fight the beast with the clave.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Not a very long or interesting fight.

Khaki-Bot:

No.

Khaki-Bot:

This is one of downsides of keeping your your villain creature in mystery.

Khaki-Bot:

It's, it's like just, it's just off screen and out of frame.

Khaki-Bot:

And he keeps hitting it with the glaze.

Khaki-Bot:

Until finally, like it lodges in the beast who seems to die.

Kay:

Yeah, he tries to pull it back with this force power.

Kay:

But it fails.

Kay:

they go running

Kay:

off, yes.

Kay:

This is already foreshadowed a little bit that the beast isn't quite dead

Kay:

because the spikes were still not moving.

Kay:

And.

Kay:

keeping everybody trapped.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

in a way that isn't really explained.

Khaki-Bot:

He climbs over the fallen beast, reaching for the glove.

Khaki-Bot:

I don't know why, like job done.

Khaki-Bot:

You

Kay:

I guess he wants it back.

Kay:

You know, it is like the symbol.

Kay:

Bratton Janet's can briefly have a moment together, but then the beast is revived.

Kay:

Uh janice here now realize it's like, oh no, it's us

Krull C-auphonic:

not the Glaive, it's you.

Krull C-auphonic:

No, Lyssa, it's us.

Krull C-auphonic:

It's us he can't defeat.

Kay:

goes like, oh,

Khaki-Bot:

another heartbeat, I thought, oh, we've got to

Khaki-Bot:

have a moment of empowerment.

Khaki-Bot:

Did they go to fight together?

Khaki-Bot:

No, she has powered that she gives to him to wheel.

Khaki-Bot:

And now he has all the power.

Khaki-Bot:

and That's how it should be.

Khaki-Bot:

And she's sort of cheering him on with her POM poms and heard.

Khaki-Bot:

Utter lack of

Kay:

agency.

Kay:

And He just has now a Flint in our hand, which he uses to roast the beast.

Kay:

Uh, yep.

Kay:

And, uh,

Khaki-Bot:

Flame Broiled lobster.

Kay:

There's a little

Kay:

bit of screaming and shouting and

Kay:

asked the beast, dies.

Kay:

the spikes withdraw the inner.

Kay:

Another cliche that the big bad guy is being defeated.

Kay:

And now the big, bad fortress starts crumbling and falling apart.

Khaki-Bot:

Some reason this place has got to blow.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, it does look cool.

Khaki-Bot:

There's all of this.

Khaki-Bot:

I mean, it looks like, like phosphorus, What's called fireworks.

Khaki-Bot:

Coming down really, really dangerous stuff.

Khaki-Bot:

guys.

Khaki-Bot:

It

Kay:

looks like super a

Khaki-Bot:

magnesium.

Khaki-Bot:

Sorry.

Khaki-Bot:

That's what I was thinking

Kay:

He's in flares.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

That's the one.

Khaki-Bot:

Ah, they see a trail of blood and someone

Khaki-Bot:

immediately intuits Oh, that must be.

Khaki-Bot:

ergo.

Krull C-auphonic:

That's Ergo.

Krull C-auphonic:

He may still be alive.

Khaki-Bot:

Why?

Kay:

No idea, but yes, ergo.

Kay:

And the boy are found, brought along together, more running, more

Kay:

shooting with a few worst layers before they managed to escape the.

Kay:

Fortress.

Kay:

Just in time.

Khaki-Bot:

Which takes a long time disintegrate and explode.

Khaki-Bot:

And I thought this was such a

Kay:

good

Khaki-Bot:

effect.

Kay:

All the pieces that break off, float up into the air.

Kay:

More those magnesium flares also floating up into the air.

Kay:

And peace is restored to Crow.

Khaki-Bot:

This must've been a really complicated thing to

Khaki-Bot:

set up because this model was, I mean, clearly hung upside down.

Khaki-Bot:

and, falling apart, but like to have it fall apart in the right number of chunks

Kay:

like

Kay:

this.

Kay:

. It was built like a jinx big, big jigsaw and put together specifically for this

Kay:

purpose that they could like than a.

Kay:

Let it fall apart again.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay, but you want the.

Khaki-Bot:

like the top part to fall off

Kay:

firsts.

Khaki-Bot:

then the next

Khaki-Bot:

part to fall off.

Khaki-Bot:

So You've got to have like some kind of wiring system to

Kay:

prevent.

Kay:

Oh yeah.

Kay:

And you have to shake it and you have to let the dust.

Kay:

Let the dust go up and down.

Kay:

Yep.

Kay:

Absolutely.

Khaki-Bot:

It's really, really great.

Khaki-Bot:

And then it's finally gone.

Khaki-Bot:

We have, let me see who survives.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

the youngest of the thieves who I don't, He got a name

Khaki-Bot:

like.

Khaki-Bot:

neat Nino or.

Khaki-Bot:

Amino or

Kay:

I'm pretty sure.

Kay:

It's like, yeah, I didn't.

Kay:

Really.

Khaki-Bot:

the boy ergo, the wizard, the prince of thieves, whom.

Khaki-Bot:

Prince Brad offers to free, like these final moments don't really

Khaki-Bot:

include princess Janet at all.

Kay:

No.

Kay:

she was just kind of standing there off in the background.

Khaki-Bot:

Like the only thing that she does is to sort of reassure the boy

Khaki-Bot:

that Urkel will be fine, having not.

Khaki-Bot:

Examined him in any way or whatever, like just.

Kay:

No, he'll be fine.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

One final exchange between the brat and the prince of thieves where, he, gives

Kay:

him the keys to unlock the manacles and then he goes, keep the keys.

Krull C-auphonic:

The key's yours.

Krull C-auphonic:

Only the king and his lord marshal

Krull C-auphonic:

carry this key.

Krull C-auphonic:

That's right.

Khaki-Bot:

And

Kay:

do you just like grins at him and goes like, yep.

Kay:

And this is missing opportunity that he could throw the line back,

Khaki-Bot:

screaming

Kay:

But I was like, oh, come on.

Kay:

He could have said like, you don't look like a king to me.

Kay:

And that would be like,

Khaki-Bot:

There will be a great line to end on.

Kay:

was pretty Fantastic.

Kay:

It could be mirroring the Original exchange between the two.

Kay:

And it was just like such a missed opportunity there.

Khaki-Bot:

And this over this meadow.

Khaki-Bot:

credits.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

how we end.

Khaki-Bot:

Like, you know, we still don't see them like triumphantly returning or like.

Khaki-Bot:

the peasants rejoicing.

Kay:

to return to There's no peasants in these countries.

Kay:

You

Khaki-Bot:

Wait, You think that the last

Kay:

living.

Kay:

No, I'm just making this up.

Khaki-Bot:

No.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm with you.

Kay:

and of course.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes, that's right.

Khaki-Bot:

Hopefully they can teach Brad and Janet, some, some fun stuff to like,

Khaki-Bot:

there's a lot More to romance than that maybe you've thought about so far.

Khaki-Bot:

Let, let us teach you from the book

Kay:

of slots.

Kay:

So, yes, uh,

Kay:

Crow.

Khaki-Bot:

Wow.

Khaki-Bot:

No, you're, you're not wrong.

Khaki-Bot:

I've got a lot of labyrinth vibes.

Khaki-Bot:

I got a dragon Slayer.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Kay:

star Trek.

Khaki-Bot:

A good bit of star Trek from the music.

Kay:

And a star wars, of course.

Khaki-Bot:

Princess bride.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Kay:

was called derivative.

Kay:

By critics.

Kay:

You know,

Khaki-Bot:

look, this is only fair in the eighties.

Khaki-Bot:

If this came out now.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, it would be this amazing pastiche and like mashup, of all these sources.

Khaki-Bot:

And it'd be so innovative.

Khaki-Bot:

To mash up all these divergent sources.

Khaki-Bot:

But the eighties was a time where, oh yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Willow.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

Very much.

Kay:

So yeah,

Khaki-Bot:

All these stories coming.

Khaki-Bot:

And they were also original by current standards, right.

Khaki-Bot:

They weren't based on books.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, I think Willow had like a children's book that came before after.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm not sure, but.

Khaki-Bot:

Just the.

Khaki-Bot:

the creative gumption to create this world.

Khaki-Bot:

where oh yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Over the credits.

Khaki-Bot:

Then the prophecy is repeated,

Krull C-auphonic:

A girl of ancient name shall become queen.

Krull C-auphonic:

She shall choose a king,

Krull C-auphonic:

and together they shall rule our world...

Krull C-auphonic:

and their son shall rule the galaxy.

Kay:

what's their going and going for a sequel.

Kay:

What's.

Khaki-Bot:

You

Khaki-Bot:

know,

Khaki-Bot:

that's, That's really the only way they could do it.

Khaki-Bot:

You could to have a crawl too.

Khaki-Bot:

That was also on this world because already faced the greatest Existential.

Khaki-Bot:

crisis that it can have.

Kay:

And

Kay:

now it's like, okay, my head, Kevin flash Gordon is the first.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Kay:

this is in the

Kay:

flash Gordon universe.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, something terrible, like crawl to it, opens something terrible happens.

Khaki-Bot:

Unlike like lotta and Jor L a.

Khaki-Bot:

They have to put their baby into like subsequent cryo.

Khaki-Bot:

He's found by some.

Khaki-Bot:

some, some jock, like a jock couple in.

Khaki-Bot:

In Kansas.

Khaki-Bot:

Raised as a fun Until he discovers his birthright to rule the galaxy.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

And he marries Ming in this

Kay:

one.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

let's do that.

Kay:

Let's go for that.

Kay:

Let's see if we can get in the writer's room on that one.

Khaki-Bot:

Gosh.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

can we please, can we please have this?

Khaki-Bot:

Can we have this as a, as a 2022?

Khaki-Bot:

Like Netflix.

Khaki-Bot:

or perhaps a more ethical streaming service.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah, Kroll.

Khaki-Bot:

Age of rebellion.

Khaki-Bot:

and then a season two where Yes, it follows.

Khaki-Bot:

like a next generation flash Gordon who.

Khaki-Bot:

Like discover some feelings that he didn't know he had for Ming the being the mercy.

Khaki-Bot:

Can I do anything with that?

Khaki-Bot:

I'll figure it out.

Khaki-Bot:

We have time.

Kay:

So, yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Kay:

What a movie.

Khaki-Bot:

yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Do we, do we want to do any Willy's or Woody's?

Khaki-Bot:

It's really hard.

Kay:

damn.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

I mean, I think we should.

Kay:

Um,

Kay:

Let's see.

Khaki-Bot:

uh, Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

My, my, my Willy goes to women in this,

Khaki-Bot:

like, The role of women.

Khaki-Bot:

It's all dudes.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah on the party and.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh,

Kay:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

Which is not something I normally object to

Khaki-Bot:

in media, but, you know, But you tend to have to pay for those.

Khaki-Bot:

Are there possible

Kay:

protected?

Kay:

Okay.

Kay:

And your Woody.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay, We, we have a recommendation from her majesty, the

Khaki-Bot:

pod cat Oh, this is really tricky?

Khaki-Bot:

I think ergo.

Kay:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

Erica was genuinely fun.

Kay:

All right.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

He had some, he had some cool lines.

Khaki-Bot:

He had, uh, he had a sense of comedy.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, oh.

Khaki-Bot:

I say that the prince of thieves now he had a lot of

Kay:

personality.

Khaki-Bot:

And Verve.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, tricky.

Khaki-Bot:

Do you want to pick one of those?

Khaki-Bot:

or do you have a, do you have another Woody?

Kay:

think I

Kay:

would definitely go for the Princeton.

Kay:

Because ergo was the comic relief character.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

And Yeah.

Kay:

Other than that, ergo had.

Kay:

a lot of personalities.

Kay:

Well, and none of it good.

Kay:

Uh,

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, he was the cowardly lion who found his courage

Kay:

though.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

We found this, uh,

Kay:

in order to help protect the

Khaki-Bot:

She was like cringy, who became Battlecat.

Kay:

Oh,

Kay:

oh.

Khaki-Bot:

Season three, teach returns.

Khaki-Bot:

But then he's He-Man.

Khaki-Bot:

and this is also attorney.

Kay:

Okay.

Kay:

So,

Kay:

when the speaking of church, after the, uh, the CR dies.

Kay:

tissue is very sad because he was my only family.

Kay:

And then prince brat, because

Kay:

I was

Krull C-auphonic:

your family

Kay:

yeah, I thought that was a really good to.

Kay:

A nice moment in this movie.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Sort of brings it back to Farscape, and the theme of.

Khaki-Bot:

Found family.

Khaki-Bot:

Ooh.

Khaki-Bot:

Yes.

Khaki-Bot:

We've done this before for the Muppets.

Khaki-Bot:

which Farscape characters are we going to relate these characters to.

Kay:

Well, uh, okay.

Kay:

Prince.

Kay:

Brad is John, obviously.

Khaki-Bot:

I was gonna say, Aeryn

Kay:

Oh, okay.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

Fair enough.

Khaki-Bot:

Because let's be fair.

Khaki-Bot:

Erin looks a little bit better in black leather than John does.

Khaki-Bot:

Just a

Kay:

No, I agree.

Kay:

In that case, let's see or goat is, um,

Kay:

Rachel.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

That's what very

Kay:

much.

Kay:

so.

Kay:

Um,

Kay:

That makes Liam Neeson's character.

Kay:

D'Argo.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, yes, very good.

Khaki-Bot:

Even has that sort of look to

Kay:

him Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

The longer nose and the longer hair.

Khaki-Bot:

I did that.

Khaki-Bot:

I think,

Kay:

I mean,

Kay:

The princess would we have to be pilot?

Kay:

That's

Khaki-Bot:

Oh, I was going to go Cyclops because

Kay:

gloves pilots.

Kay:

Oh yeah.

Kay:

No.

Kay:

Very good.

Kay:

Yeah, no, I agree.

Kay:

I can see that happening also does a lot of standing around in the background.

Kay:

I mean, he was doing a lot of Lego lashing in this movie.

Khaki-Bot:

Oh,

Khaki-Bot:

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kay:

Which is partially due to the fact that he couldn't see bugger

Kay:

all through that

Kay:

prostetic.

Khaki-Bot:

the animatronic thing in front of

Khaki-Bot:

his

Kay:

his forehead, you only could see through one aisle.

Khaki-Bot:

We've made an impressive that it could shake hands with.

Khaki-Bot:

Cause that's not an easy target to

Kay:

You

Kay:

can see that.

Kay:

Uh, kind of going wrong when he strikes us, shake hands with prince

Kay:

brat, it's a little bit awkward.

Kay:

but on the other hand, Cyclops would have that problem cause

Kay:

they didn't have any depth vision.

Kay:

So.

Khaki-Bot:

So

Khaki-Bot:

a spear is not a good weapon for a

Khaki-Bot:

Cyclops.

Khaki-Bot:

Across bell would be great.

Kay:

Yeah,

Kay:

I suppose.

Kay:

So it's much more point and shoot.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

I don't have 3d vision because my eyes were a little bit

Khaki-Bot:

wonky and one of them's sort of, okay.

Khaki-Bot:

The other ones are back up.

Khaki-Bot:

But the first time that you took me out to the gun range,

Khaki-Bot:

for some, some marksmanship.

Khaki-Bot:

Practice.

Khaki-Bot:

I did pretty.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

Against those clay pigeons.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

Because it's an entirely two dimensional operation.

Kay:

It is.

Kay:

Yeah.

Kay:

You just have to figure out how

Kay:

far

Khaki-Bot:

did X Y coordinates and a little bit of dropdown and that's it.

Kay:

Alright.

Kay:

So

Kay:

I guess we, this was CHRO.

Kay:

Uh, it means next week, we're going to okay.

Khaki-Bot:

A special treat for next week's fanfiction, But everybody hate.

Khaki-Bot:

Be cool.

Khaki-Bot:

So do you remember at K how thanks to Matt, Itron our listener.

Khaki-Bot:

You got a copy of.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, the Farscape magazine, the first edition.

Khaki-Bot:

from July, 2001.

Khaki-Bot:

That happened To feature a story.

Khaki-Bot:

set in the Farscape universe written by Keith art, a.

Khaki-Bot:

The candidal and I thought, Hey, nobody, nobody tells the Jim Henson company.

Khaki-Bot:

What if we read that one?

Kay:

Okay, That sounds fantastic.

Kay:

I mean, Looking forward to that.

Khaki-Bot:

Good.

Khaki-Bot:

Cause I've, I've already reached out to the writer who

Khaki-Bot:

said, well, it's not up to me.

Kay:

It's not

Khaki-Bot:

And that's about as much as he was legally able to encourage us.

Khaki-Bot:

But I think in this.

Khaki-Bot:

He did not say that.

Khaki-Bot:

we could do it.

Khaki-Bot:

No.

Khaki-Bot:

I think.

Kay:

of like, okay.

Khaki-Bot:

I've had a little glance at it.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm.

Khaki-Bot:

Really curious about it.

Khaki-Bot:

So that's going to be our fan fiction next time.

Khaki-Bot:

And then after that,

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, we're going to return to Farscape 3 0 7.

Kay:

Yep.

Khaki-Bot:

and let's Hey, let's just keep the suspense.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

Because this was a long time to wait when Farscape was, uh, was.

Khaki-Bot:

airing.

Khaki-Bot:

Like, I don't remember just being even more frustrated with this after eat

Khaki-Bot:

me and the doubling of John Crichton.

Khaki-Bot:

yes.

Kay:

Oh, you asked with.

Kay:

I have to see how that's going to play out.

Kay:

Yeah.

Khaki-Bot:

because with the death of Aaron,

Khaki-Bot:

I didn't really believe she was

Kay:

dead.

Kay:

No.

Khaki-Bot:

Right.

Khaki-Bot:

And it's just like, how are they going to deal with that?

Khaki-Bot:

But now there's so much more potential to, to this idea.

Khaki-Bot:

Do we have two leads?

Khaki-Bot:

What's going to happen?

Khaki-Bot:

at that.

Kay:

the story.

Kay:

So Farscape.

Khaki-Bot:

Join us in two weeks.

Khaki-Bot:

You can find us at @SoFarscape on Facebook and Twitter.

Khaki-Bot:

So farscape.com/fanfic.

Khaki-Bot:

If you want to send us a, your recommendation for fan fiction,

Khaki-Bot:

we have some really, really great suggestions and we'd love to.

Khaki-Bot:

To find out more.

Khaki-Bot:

Our friend, Kathy, who recommended the Zhaan

Khaki-Bot:

On by Astro goal reached out to some of the original writers and they

Khaki-Bot:

were apparently delighted that we still enjoyed their stories from.

Kay:

Yes.

Kay:

We have P that the People were still picking you up on these.

Kay:

and actually doing readings of them.

Kay:

It's like so exciting to be able to like, do that to poor people.

Kay:

Kind of like makes me feel a little bit, like we were part of that.

Kay:

story.

Kay:

Exchange.

Khaki-Bot:

bit.

Khaki-Bot:

Yeah.

Kay:

did our little contribution to it, even if it is 15 years

Kay:

after

Kay:

the.

Kay:

fact.

Khaki-Bot:

Uh, SoFarscape.com slash.

Khaki-Bot:

Synopsys.

Khaki-Bot:

If you want to send up in your synopsis for upcoming episodes and Hey, a

Khaki-Bot:

season three is ripe for the picking.

Khaki-Bot:

So keep them coming in.

Khaki-Bot:

And so Farscape com slash support.

Khaki-Bot:

If you want to join our Patrion and help us keep the lights on.

Khaki-Bot:

Thank you so much for joining us.

Khaki-Bot:

I hope you enjoyed crawl.

Khaki-Bot:

By the way.

Khaki-Bot:

I'm cocky.

Khaki-Bot:

Okay.

Khaki-Bot:

@SoFarscape so

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About the Podcast

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So Farscape!
A fun-filled Farscape fancast in which a longtime fan introduces his bestie to the marvel that is Farscape, seen through fresh eyes and discussed with insight, wit, and love!

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About your host

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Khaki and Kay

Best friends for decades, Khaki and Kay are passionate nerds. Kay is a veteran of the Kerbal Space Program, while Khaki is a student of sci-fi TV obscura, and a keeper of the Deep Lore.